the grumpy family

Down Syndrome Spring Picnic

2009-05-17T05:05:00.004-05:00

Today was the annual Down Syndrome Picnic! It was so much fun as usual, though there were no baked beans. (Still unsure if this was good or bad....update after a few more diapers!)

We had so much fun playing games, bouncing and jumping in the bounce houses, eating of course and meeting some old friends and making a few new ones. Though Devon and Miranda had the best time dancing.

We had a few tense moments. I was really worried about Emerson for a while we had several episodes of the monitor going off and his eyes getting a little dusky blue!

I think the best thing about this is getting to see a lot of the individuals with Down Syndrome, so many different stages, abilities and basically just a cool mixture of people.

It also helped cause Adrian has been asking a lot of questions lately.

This morning she informed me.....that she, Jordan and Emerson did not have down syndrome cause they all came from my tummy. True yes..... but not what I was expecting...... I thought she would follow it up with some profound statement.... but no, she then told me all adopted kid had down syndrome..... so the picnic did at least give Adrian and I chance to play...... who has DS and who doesn't and why (or how she knew).

I know this seems weird.... but she has been having a few issues at school and a lot of issues at home and is a lot more confused about what is going on with the "chromsomally" enhanced ones and always wants to understand why we do not get "the good parking space" when it is just her and me!

It is a wondrous thing that comes out of her mouth....usually before she inserts her foot!

I cried today! (A LOT)

2009-05-13T23:16:00.018-05:00

SHORT STORY......Adrian and Melea graduated kindergarten today! It was such a fun family moment to watch two of my beautiful girls sings and receive their diplomas.

STOP Here...... or

LONG STORY...... I cried today.....tears that only a "special" mom can have. I cried today because I was proud, happy, sad, amazed, joyful, and just plain beaming with pride when I watched them......both my beautiful.....Adrian and Melea.....as they graduated from kindergarten this afternoon.

Today started like usual.....OK sort of. My friends came and helped me get the kids ready for school .......still issues with the kids and Emerson all needing me .....(when will I learn how to nurse a kiddo.....carry his heart monitors....bathe the others and wait for the bus at the same time......thank heaven for friends!).

Differences included the fact that Adrian had laid out her clothes ....three days early! She picked out my clothes.....Emerson's & Jordan's outfits.....made sure she had invited every person she met in the last week......called her grandma and reminded her dad...about 20 times! She had been singing all the songs for me for over two weeks.....and like the wonderful sister that she is made sure Melea practiced many many times too.

I fight ...as usual....to get Melea to let me do her hair, make sure she gets her teeth brushed.... try to make sure she doesn't hug Emerson too hard and a little argument....doesn't want to practice her songs.....just wants to look in the mirror at her "bottom" oh does that fascinate her!

Adrian got up early.....in the shower before Tammy & Angie got her. Adrian had me do her hair....put in her special bows.....wear perfume......she was so excited! Last thing she tells me.....on her way out the door is...."Mom, I love you so much.....but please make sure your armpits don't stink!"

"OK".....I reply....pretty much taken a back..... I forgot to notice she had no shoes on. Of
course Adrian was her usual creative self and decided that her beautiful burgundy suede boots would look so much better than her her pink dress shoes. (Angie did try to get her to wear the matching ones.... but Princess Grumpy was adamant about these....and I didn't notice till she marched in...Oh well!)

I actually was so surprised at her comment....I spend the morning questioning Dad, all the kid wranglers, Grandma and Jordan if I had forgotten deodorant in the last few weeks.! It really was bothering me.....I knew Adrian had been frustrated cause I have been wearing my painting /work outside in the yard clothes to Wal-Mart and Home Depot the last few times! SO I SHOWERED AGAIN!!!!!

Eric, myself, Jordan & Emerson go over to school with all the kid wranglers. We get to school about 15 minutes early, I get the preschoolers and Colin so we can all be a family unit.

I am very worried..... not about Adrian....she has a way of making everything look like she planned it. I am panicking inside.... about how Melea will do, and will she even go in with the kids. I have some really bad memories of Colin's first kindergarten graduation (our worst EVER school event to date!)

It starts late...... Adrian is one of the first in........ I am waiting .....camera flashes going off and of course Adrian waves at me....beaming!!!! I am so happy! She looks really pleased that we are all there....taking up a whole row!!!!

I am looking for Melea...... a little panicked. Well she comes in.... one of the last..... but no one is helping her or pointing or holding her hand....she just marches in (AND I MEAN MARCHING TO THE BEAT ONLY SHE CAN HEAR) all by herself.

She stands up with her friends..... all the kindergartners start to sing! Adrian immediately draws my attention because she has my musical talent and Eric's volume.....but a lot of heart!

After about 30 seconds I manage to remember to look at Melea..... She is singing, making all the movements and smiling so big it could melt your soul. I am so amazed! Tears start to well!!!! I realize her is my beautiful, shy little girl. With her amazing smile, beautiful hair and 23 pairs + 1 chromosome ..... making her my special little girl.

I was amazed thinking back to all the IEP's, all the planning, the times I was sure she wouldn't walk, or wondered if the the failure to thrive was my fault, all the speech therapy sessions where she would not make a sound..... but that smile....I see her beautiful smile. I can hear her! Tears of amazement start to flow! She did it...though it was her way.....not the way I planned, not the way her teachers always wanted either. Why is this amazing...... well it is just like the rest of them.

All her classmates stand there as individuals....all proud.....most with beaming parent too....and none of them has really turned out the way their parents planned for them in utero...... but they....like Melea are amazing!

I jump back to looking at Adrian! She is so proud, so straight, so effortlessly looking amazing..... she is so smart and open....she takes care of herself and exuding confidence....I cry a little more this time. Partly because I am proud and partly cause I am pleased she does not burst into interpretive dance in the music interlude in between the verses of "You Are My Sunshine".

My eyes dart back to Melea.... still singing.....still doing the hand motions! I am so amazed. I am watching another example of inclusion at its best. Maybe she doesn't know her sight words or is able to do basic addition...... but she is standing their confident and singing with the rest of her peers. This is not what happened last year..... last year I just got that open mouth with a little drool....confused looks and a run to her aide.

Today I see a beautiful young girl, with her peers....singing her heart out (off key) but doing everything the others are doing! I have another wave of pride..... tears started to fall again!

Then I look to Adrian and I realize the whole class was signing the last verse as well as sings it..... for Melea....cause she signs as well as sings! More tears flowing.

Then comes the sadness, for both my little beauties. For so vastly different reasons!

Melea.....I realize how hard she has to work to have more days like today, for the birth family who placed her with us....who lost the daughter they were hoping for..... and for me! It makes her life a lot different than the one Adrian will have, that thought makes me cry with sorrow......

I am thinking of that chromosome....the extra ones in each cell....the ones that if they were not there..... she would not be my daughter.

I feel a lot of guilt cause I am glad she has 47 chromosomes in each cell! This is something there is no question about!

I feel guilty and it makes me sad.....but then I think ....Adrian.....and my sorrow switches to a few tears of pain (remembering that natural child birth and 14 hours of labor..... and realizing that it was almost 6 years ago that I really learned how hard it must have been for all my adopted children's birth parents!)

I think..... Adrian is one super special little girl, she is confident, intelligent, friendly, outgoing and an absolutely fantastic sister! I am crying cause I lover her so much, and I am sad at thinking that she is growing up so fast and someday all the societal pressures may make her not think that helping Melea or being her sister is a good thing. I shed some tears for the fact she has so much to learn about the ways of the world and the fact that not every one will value her family the same!

Then came the tears of joy and thankfulness for all the people who have helped my children, the teachers, the therapists, the counselors, and their favorite.....the bus drivers. They all worked so hard, very rarely getting a chance to see how it all comes together.....but today I did!

All the children finished singing.....they signed thank you, and then they proceeded to take their seats...... the kids then all get their chance to walk up and get their diplomas from the principal! All of them look so proud, and so happy!

After several minutes and about 14 children Adrian gets to go....she is so beautiful and radiant....... she flashes Daddy her best smile....a little secrete wave and bounces off to get her diploma! (by the way.... I am back to crying with pride and joy again)

I spend the next five minutes finishing the morning class and starting the afternoon class. Emerson starts to nurse, and I am reminded of the family who has never seen a photo of Melea, never once asked to get anything we have left for them..... and I wonder if they ever think of her.....I remember she does not share mine or Eric's DNA.....again the chromosomes, but......

I hear her name....... she slowly gets up.....(still crying....not sure why)! She does the thing I have come to love over the years..... it is so Melea! She puts her right hand over her eyes, peers out from underneath to see if anyone is looking..... and acts shy. But then she walks up....... hand still over her eyes. Adrian says really loud (I don't think she meant too.... she is just my kid) "this way Mia!....go to Mr. G****".

Eric is in the middle aisle....trying to take the photo.... the camera doesn't work ...... it seems like five minutes...... the principal is doing his best to get her to take her hand off her eyes.... and we are all clapping and I am crying again!!

This time because they are both my beautiful girls.....two of my four. Eliza and Miranda are sitting next to me......Eliza running around like the Tasmanian devil and Miranda clapping for everyone and cheering! Because Adrian is so worried about her sister and Melea is just playing it up and being a "ham" on purpose!

And I start to smile......I realize I am so proud and so lucky! (And of course there are a few tears....cause I am sure Eric blew the shot!)

Afterwards when I get to hug the girls and give them the roses I brought for them. The tears flowed again. This time is now joy..... I am happy again to be the one sharing this day with both my girls as their mom!

Just want to say thank you.....

2009-05-01T15:58:00.006-05:00

to my dear husband ..... who works so hard so I can be a stay at home mom (MY FULL TIME JOB) and have fun with the kids besides cleaning the house.

This has been a very busy week. Though almost all of the rest of them are between now and the end of the year. 2 days doctors appointments (T & TH), Special Olympics (W), an IEP (M) and 1st grade field trip (F). All this was in between the normal food shopping, nursing Emerson, several medicine pick ups, and a few phone calls with the health insurance company, made some time to pay bills and balance the checkbook + all those other mom things! (the ones people forget....till mom isn't there to do them and laundry stacks up to the ceiling, and the dishes get moldy in the sink)

Today was the last field trip of the 08-09 school year. It seems to have flown by....... the kids have grown and learned so much.

Colin and I (as well as Emerson ...tagging along in the sling) went to Shaw arboretum today! As usual it was a dreary day, but we had a great time. We did a nature hike with 12 different spot where his class stopped and completed several investigations.

It was really a whole lot of fun for Colin. He had so many of his favorite things.....mom's hand to hold, Emerson to show off and kiss, lots of mud to stomp in.....and his favorite.....bugs, worms, and frogs to scare mom with.

It really is nice to have this special time with the kids....they parties, the plays, the concerts, the field trips......all are lasting memories our children will have. So thanks Daddy....for all you do for us so we can have so much fun!

So here are some shots from the year of all we have done at school with the kids with Daddy back filling with babysitting and working hard!

Special Olympics Track- Colin & Melea

2009-04-29T17:37:00.005-05:00

Besides President Obama's 100 day celebratory town hall meeting here today, we had a much more exciting event..........another Special Olympic Track Meet, this time for Colin & Melea.

It really is amazing to go to these events. Though we were almost late because the presidential motorcade blocked the highway due to the overcast and gloomy weather preventing the helicopters from flying. How ever I did manage to get myself sunburned......and Emerson got a little pink on his for head. Colin & Melea just got browner and more gorgeous with their olive complexions.

The day started at McDonald's with our special Mommy & kids breakfast of hot cakes......OK I really needed that large iced coffee! We always try to share a special family breakfast before each field trip so the children who aren't going...... feel special too. This morning it was so cool to walk arm and arm across the parking lot with Adrian singing her new "song" about how much she loves her family! What an amazing girl...I just wish she had gotten any of her dad's or her aunt's musical talent......but alas she sing and keeps time like me! But she tries and since I believe heart does count (and I am her mom) it is amazing!

Then we went to school to have Colin & Melea catch the bus with their classmates.....but surprise when the bus gets there....no STAR SEATS! Things like this used to irritate me......but not as much as it used too. ("serenity now....serenity now") OK....really this is why I make sure Eric or I are able to go on every trip...so I can drive them.....if it happens......and it usually happens once or twice a year. I actually think my kids like it better anyways! More mommy time......and this time she got to ride next to Emerson.....extra special morning part three.

Well we follow the bus.... get parked..... find the kids teacher and get to meet our buddies for the day. Just like Devon's last week, we got some wonderful helpers. Dillan & Brian.

These awesome students took my kids around to their events and played with them all day at the Olympic Village. They were so patient and tried to get them involved.

A lot of times people ask me if Colin remembers stuff....well two days later he is still doing the cool handshake that Brian taught him. Colin was even trying ti teach it to Devon and Colin.

Colin is still showing off his ribbons and Melea showing me her medal. So all in all another really great day!

WHY IS WAL-M#$% CHEATING ME!!!!!

2009-04-25T10:40:00.003-05:00

I am so tired of Wal-M#$% and Targ&*) and all the other stores treating me like I am a dumb consumer.

I watch prices I watch numbers / counts on boxes...... I have eight mouths to feed and butts to diaper! I NOTICE and I am tired of it! Quit keeping the packages the same size and putting in less...... from cereal (yeah I know you just matched General Mills and others). I have put up with the disappearing diapers for a while and even the missing 48 wipes (8 from every package for about 2-3 weeks down from 80 to 72 then a huge new end cap saying more...we are giving you more now!

But yesterday you really made me mad! I will call again today when I finish this...... I am madder than when you got rid of the green (lime) flavored yogurt for 3 months when you put more of the ridiculously priced GoGurt and other espensive kid marketed brands! Madder than when you quit carrying equate bar soap!

You took a whole package of wipes out of the six pack in the parents choice! At first I just thought I got a defective package...... it shook....... I looked at the package....same size...... you didn't even try to hid it this time...... It just said FIVE.....440 wipes.......not the usual 6 pack.

There was an empty space.... someone else will notice......they have too..... it can't just be me.

OK it can Eric just opened it....I had to buy it.....we were out..... I guess that is how you get away with it...... you are our only choices if I need to keep our costs as low as they can go! But I a, noticing and keeping track and angry.......angry about the fact that this pack is missing.....angry about the fact in several weeks it "will suddenly" reappear as a gimmick to make you think you care about out needs and the fact that everyone is penny pinching.......and YOU ARE TRYING TO HELP US OUT! But I will remember.......

I wish I could boycott you..... I tried mad it 2 weeks and 5 days.....19 days...... oh yeah it did nothing in their bottom line.....made me completely sure I hated the generic diapers at Walgre&&^% and ended up costing me more money on just about everything! I am sure that you didn't even notice a dent in your bottom line...... (note I spend about $250 each week on food and other household items there).....but to me it is a huge amount.

Wal-M#$%@ was the second corporate brand my kids recognized (McDonald's being first).......My son Jordan & Adrian's could say it before Grandma and most of their siblings names.......it has become the generic term for "store" at our house like xerox...... but notice.... I am watching and I know and I am mad.

Raise the prices, but quite trying to make me think you are doing me a favor by giving me 8 more wipes or 2 more diapers or locating the missing 2 oz of generic Cheerios! The used to be there.....you made money when you took them away,,,,,,,,, GIVE THEM BACK!

Devon and Track Special Olympics......

2009-04-23T20:56:00.007-05:00

or A nice Girl named "Katie"!

Today Devon got to go to the Special Olympic Track Meet. (Next week is Colin & Melea's) It was so much fun to get to spend the morning with him.....though I think the "spirits" were conspiring against me for the first 4 hours of my morning.......

why did I ever let the kids (Colin & Adrian now do every day....some days so does Melea) start taking showers before me....... I WANT AN INSTANT HOT WATER HEATER!
someone stole the shoes I wanted to wear (after I took the time to shave my legs)
afternoon helper called in sick so I am panicked that I can't go ....but morning helper says she can stay till at least 2 pm! THANK HEAVENS
Melea tries to play sick till she realizes that I am taking Emerson with me..... so the plan of staying home to play with the baby....not working as she planned.... so she runs off to school to torment the staff there!
Grandma still in hospital and I am worried about her....
I finally get there.....they make us park at another school across a street I would not have crossed with "normal" children....let alone Devon....thank heaven I was running so late.....I sent him on the bus!
There was also a huge huge huge set of steps and I could not carry the stroller, the diaper bag, Emerson's monitors, camera , our lunch up those stairs.....and I forgot I had Emerson too!
Jordan broke my drip coffee pot last week, and out of instant coffee too....do they make IV coffee? URGH!!!!!!!!
I really do like going to Special Olympic events.....it is so nice to see so many happy faces and smiles....it can and always cheers me up....worked really well after this morning and my lack of coffee!

I finally found Devon and met his helper for the day. Her name was Katie.....she seemed nice and Devon was holding her hand and smiling (though he would do this with Satan and any person....no ability to distinguish) But she seemed to have the energy that Devon needs .

Most people think I am neurotic about going to all these event.....but I taught High school for a while and it is a 50 /50 chance at getting a "not so interested" helper.......and all my kids run! so I get worried....OK down right scared!

But no problem with our helper today......she was attentive to me, Devon and Devon's school staff as they explained his needs and issues (OK I was a little worried when i first saw her...and no staff....but boy did she do great!)

We got to play games.....I swear all the clubs at this high school participated....at least 20 carnival games.....Devon brought home six bubble containers and all kids of carnival treasures (OK junk that Adrian can try to feed Emerson tomorrow......). But it was fun to watch Devon attempt to play the games and to see him brighten up when Melea and Adrian and he were going through the bag when he got home.

Devon gets to compete in "challenges" to build his skills....like hopping, and jumping, and throwing tennis balls and running to someone (his new pretty friend Katie). It might seem like a waste of time to some people....but sometimes just watching your son do a little bit with a stranger ....it is amazing.

To stand back and see how that smile can bright the world. To spend a minute not panicked about hospital bills or balancing a check book or wondering about how or when the TV will have some "good news" about the economy. That is what I got this morning!

Three and half hours of time with Devon (Emerson was along for the ride....and a small red nose....sunscreen must have rubbed off). We played we hugged each other, a big red dog, played clap clap with Spiderman & Wolverine, were timid with Captian America and just hugged the heck out of the "Tiger".

We through some pom poms, blew bubbles, picked ducks & fish out of water, got matching tattoos, got covered in Peanut Butter & jelly and watched him drink a full carton of chocolate milk! Then we ran some, jumped some and threw some balls. We even crammed ourselves into a port-a-potty together for a diaper change! (Katie held Emerson....thanksso much!)

I want to thank all the kids and people that made this day special....the planning is not so easy to pull off an event like this! These young adults worked hard to put the special in "Speacial Olymipics"! From the girls dress up int heose hot costumes on the 80 degree day, to the ones helping me with parking (even if I grumbled)

I had a wonderful time. It was amazing! Devon is Devon.....I keep hoping for a miricle or breakthrough or something, but I spend most of the time thinking he is never going to change.

Do not take that as depressed as it sounds. I loved seeing all the smiles he gave to people today and all the hugs. I loved seeing how much he has grown this school year. And after spending the day with him today. I am sort of happy that he hasn't changed to much .....yet!

I think for him..... the world will always revolve around him and what "Devon "wants...... but today he wanted to share it with me & Katie and it sure was "totally awesome"!

ps- I am feeling quite old all of a sudden! and wondering why two grown adults with college degrees can't make microwave popcorn with out burning it!

Adrian's Newly Painted Room!!!!

2009-04-01T08:57:00.006-05:00

I finally got a round to painting Adrian's new room......she moved in last May 1st (before Devon came and we moved everyone around).

Cause you know having eight kids including the new baby....making painting so easy! Let us not forget that Adrian wanted to help which then involved a lot of wet wipes and Mr. Clean Eraser's and carpet cleaner (she stepped in the pink paint and the tracked it everywhere!)

I never got to paint it....cause when I had time I found out I was pregnant..... and wanted to wait till the end of first trimester..... the the puking came........ and the rest is a long history.

We had her bed made ----just not painted....... and we had moved all her stuff up there (it is a loft above our bedroom). Sometime she has the most expensive carpet in the house with all her clothes and toys all over!

So before Devon came we moved all hers, Colin's & Melea's doll's (their twinns) and the clothes I made them...... her special doll house and the EVIL barbie who wears every ones clothes....... I hate that three foot tall thing! I mistake it for a child all the time!

It is long and skinny........ likely Melea will end up there some day and Miranda in with Eliza so there are two in every room.

So here they are...... by the way she picked all the colors and decided what to do....... I just painted and got yelled at cause I was taking to long!

Adrian just loves bright colors and putting as many together as humanly possible! She is so bright and cheery and her clothing shows that so I let her paint that in her room too!

I figure if she ever turns into a "goth"..... I will know..... really quickly! I do not even think she owns anything that is black.

I also wrote out my favorite saying..... I think I tell her every day at least twice....... YOU SO NOT HAVE TO BE THE BEST....... YOU JUST HAVE TO TRY YOUR BEST!!!! The funniest thing was when she used it back at me...... I love her....

She doesn't like the green in the steps..... she wanted the pepto bismo pink (I HATE PINK and since I see it from my closet I did preempt her!) and I love we green!

We just have to make the curtains for the 36" x 164" window! & The normal one. I fell in love with some at Wal-Mart..... but they discontinued them when I wasn't looking .....hot magenta balloon shades. I did get three on eBay for $10. But I need 10 more..... so I think we will likely end up sewing them!

She does have the most awesome view..... third floor from the top of Thunder Mountain....... down on the valley.......

I also want her to remember all the things she can be ...... in case I forget to tell her every morning with the eight of them and trying to get them out the door!

BY THE WAY SHE IS A COLORFUL GIRL..... that is a mild outfit int the photos! Have a great day! You can not see the purple paisley leggins and hot pink glitter shoes.

Today is Wold Down Syndrome Day!!!!

2009-03-21T08:40:00.010-05:00

March 21st......3- 21 (ie three 21st chromosomes) what causes Down Syndrome.

Down syndrome
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Down syndrome Classification and external resources

From Wikipedia........ http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Down_syndrome

Down syndrome, Down's syndrome, or trisomy 21 is a chromosomal disorder caused by the presence of all or part of an extra 21st chromosome.

It is named after John Langdon Down, the British doctor who described the syndrome in 1866. The disorder was identified as a chromosome 21 trisomy by Jérôme Lejeune in 1959.

The condition is characterized by a combination of major and minor differences in structure. Often Down syndrome is associated with some impairment of cognitive ability and physical growth as well as facial appearance. Down syndrome in a baby can be identified with amniocentesis during pregnancy or at birth.

Individuals with Down syndrome tend to have a lower than average cognitive ability, often ranging from mild to moderate developmental disabilities. A small number have severe to profound mental disability. The incidence of Down syndrome is estimated at 1 per 800 to 1,000 births, although these statistics are heavily influenced by the age of the mother. Other factors may also play a role.

Many of the common physical features of Down syndrome also appear in people with a standard set of chromosomes. They may include a single transverse palmar crease (a single instead of a double crease across one or both palms, also called the Simian crease), an almond shape to the eyes caused by an epicanthic fold of the eyelid, upslanting palpebral fissures (the separation between the upper and lower eyelids), shorter limbs, poor muscle tone, a larger than normal space between the big and second toes, and protruding tongue. Health concerns for individuals with Down syndrome include a higher risk for congenital heart defects, gastroesophageal reflux disease, recurrent ear infections, obstructive sleep apnea, and thyroid dysfunctions.

Early childhood intervention, screening for common problems, medical treatment where indicated, a conducive family environment, and vocational training can improve the overall development of children with Down syndrome. Although some of the physical genetic limitations of Down syndrome cannot be overcome, education and proper care will improve quality of life.[1]

This is one of the nicer descriptions of T-21 (new abbreviation) uses the appropriate new terminology, cognitive disability versus retardation...... still lists all the horrible things that could be wrong (again I don't disagree with those)..... in fact I think my kiddos have some if not most of those things.

But it doesn't mention any of the positive, fun & somewhat irreverent things Eric & I have gotten to experience......

fierce love that does not matter what is on TV or we are having for dinner or how much money we mad or didn't make that day

an understanding that God does make "mistakes" though my children are not one of them (I am thinking TICKS...... feed the birds something else)
what unconditional love really is.....parents of typical children (which I know have 2 1/2.....decision still out on Emerson!) get some of this but my other five bring me so much and I found I have a lot more for them

how happy they have made my life with new friends, lots of things to do (I swear I have my own parking spot at the hospital & doctor's office) and occasionally I do feel like I went to medical school

I have learned about prejudice too...... didn't have a lot of experience with that before..... but people are either warm and accepting of my children or they are hateful....... can't look at them or make rude comments....... that is the hardest thing..... but there are lots more good ones than bad
how to have a lot of fun doing normal things....like eating french fries or brushing teeth or sweeping the floor or doing laundry
that bouncing can be a whole family activity
that it is physically impossible for all of to go somewhere and all come home in exactly the same clothes

So here are a few photos of my kids........ doing what they do best..... being kids

HAPPY WORLD DOWN SYNDROME AWARENESS DAY!!!!

Making Fun of People I Love

2009-03-20T19:54:00.005-05:00

Here is a copy of the letter I sent our President this evening...... there are lots of other things I would like to say....... but I tried to keep it on point and not as rambling as I usually am.

Dear Mr. President Barack Obama,

I will likely be one of thousands (I wish millions) of letters you get regarding your comments about your bowling score last night on the Jay Leno Show.

I was proud to vote for you this past November. I was even prouder listening to your inauguration speech in January. I have watched you with your wife and children on TV, in the print media and I have fallen in love with your family and all you represent in America. But last night you not only made me angry. You set a horrible example for your children as well as other people and their children. You inadvetantly implied that making fun of the cognitively and physically disabled is allowable.

I am a very proud mother of eight children. I have five beautiful ones that we adopted with Down syndrome, as well as three biological children. All of my adopted little ones were adopted from the US foster care system. They represent several races and a lot of different abilities!

Your insensitive joke in front of millions of Americans implies that it is “ok” to make fun of this population. Most times I ignore or choose not to hear these harsh words (like retard, or short bus, or the Special Olympics) and other joking comments my friends, co workers, professionals and other people make in my presence or in the presence of my children. As long as these people do not do so with the intent to really harm my children or purposefully make the joke about them.

How can I do this…… well I chalk it up to ignorance and small world education and very little thought given to how this and other words really can affect people. However, you are brilliant man! You are not a sophomoric college student or a “Ben Stiller “type of character in a movie……. This is why I am ANGRY! MAD! HORRIFIED and SAD!

When you, Hollywood actors / TV personalities and other educated people make little comments (like last nights) even with no amount of disparaging intended toward my children, it shows all others it is OK!

Believe it or not, my biological five year old knows that people make fun of her because of her siblings, she doesn’t understand why she just cries and wants to understand what is wrong. And with your comment last night you gave them permission to continue to do this…. Because they heard a smart, articulate man…… our current leader….. say this so it is ok.

You spoke these words on April 11th 2008.
"We must build a world free of unnecessary barriers, stereotypes, and discrimination.... policies must be developed, attitudes must be shaped, and buildings and organizations must be designed to ensure that everyone has a chance to get the education they need and live independently as full citizens in their communities." -- Barack Obama.

I voted for you “not because you were the lesser of two” but because you were above what I have seen from most politicians in my lifetime. You had an agenda and given thought to the plight of the disabled. You do not see health care access as a privilege, your sense of humor is actually really amazing (most times) and you believe in really helping and changing America in a direction I feel we need to go~! (and we both have a daughter named Maliah….though I spell it right & a great Rainbow in our yard)

So please do the things you promised and show my children you care by reforming health care, making their education the best available, helping elevate poverty, and leading the USA in a better direction…… and remember the example you set…… and try not make a little girl cry because someone repeats you joke in front of her and she realizes that you (and the person repeating it) were making fun of her family!

Mom of Eight in Eureka, MO

Jane Leahy-Smith

Do I wish for a personal apology.....yes.......

Do I want him and his wife to help with the Special Olympic event on the 31st of the month for making America aware of how hurtful the word "RETARDED" or any variant is to some people.... would be a nice way to make up to a bunch of people who would all likely beat him at bowling (I know Colin can!!!!) Maybe he should get some bumpers.

Do I want a congressional bill making YOU TUBE to remove the horrible comments and videos some people post about adults and children with developmental disabilities....that would be nice

I am realistic....so I will settle for ...... hmmm....ok ......I just want him to fix it so my kids can grow up and not have to worry about having to not have a job so they can have health care!

We are coming home!!!!!

2009-02-16T08:46:00.000-06:00

We are coming home tomorrow............ it was hoped for today, but we had a few snags getting the home health set up! (always the paperwork)

So we are going home on Tuesday. I am promising to run out of the NICU as soon as they sign all my papers and not trip!!!! Eric even took the day off and all the kids were excited cause they were home and could come (OK I am sure Lynn and Angie were excited to come too).... but they will go to school and I will send him to work to not jinx it!

But I will get a chance to say goodbye to our favorite nurses and secretary (they come in again on Tuesday) and hopefully hug a few more parents....... I have watched so many people leave ..... I know they are counting the days too. My hall mate has been here for 6 months~ You would have had to lock me up if we had been here that long! But he is going home tomorrow too!

Get ready for photo overload tomorrow!

The Tater Tot and the Valentine

2009-02-14T08:12:00.003-06:00

I had a horrible start to my Valentines Day this morning. I came to the hospital Friday night about 9:30 pm after a fun afternoon with the kids, Colin's valentine party and the ice cream to celebrate Melea's birthday and about two hours of six of us pigging out on all the Valentine's candy. So I was tired when I got here........

Emerson had a new nurse who fed him yesterday and he broke his streak of no heart rate drops!!!!! I was crying...... I had been so excited when they said he was going to get to go home after we waited four days with no drops...... well we had made almost 72 hours and I had started seeing the light at the end of the tunnel.

Well then he had two with me when we were breast feeding and another when he was sucking his finger. He can not a;ways process the sucking, breathing, eating and "farting" thing at one time. You have to watch him cause one of them needs to stop (ironically my son chooses to stop breathing and then drop his heart rate dangerously low and turn purple!)

So hear I sat in the parents lounge waiting for my breakfast to come up pouting and crying...... I was frustrated cause we weren't going home, I was frustrated cause we were going on seven weeks here, I was frustrated cause I just ordered the same breakfast I have eaten for the last 30+ days and I just wanted hash brown...... but they are only on the kids menu, no the parents.....

So I am just looking like an idiot, and up comes my tray...... I sign for it and still am teary eyed (Like I can make him quit having these drops or make them let me take him home.....and I have been considering stealing / kidnapping him when I come in so late at night and am just sitting here) well on my tray are tater tots! OK they are not hash browns, but they are closer than I have ever gotten.

It was a mistake, but it made me stop and realize that maybe I can't have everything the way I want it....... but at least I can get something..... and I smile a little. I then move my milk and under it is a valentine. My kids remembered and all made me things, but Eric has had no time to get me anything and we usually don't go out..... but I am wanting someone to tell me how special I am (not cause of my kids or the time I put in) but because they really like me! Well I get a sponge bob valentine from a little child named Dylan!

I have grown to love sponge bob over the last year and it is depicting my favorite episode...... where sponge bob and Patrick are playing in a box! They use their imagination and making believe and driving Squidward nuts!!!!! This just made me chuckle.... cause I love this episode and I know that their are some new episodes premiering on Monday and I actually am planning on watching them! (IRONIC ISN'T it!!!!!)

So this little mistake of the tater tots and piece of paper from a "Dylan" who was probably forced to write this in school made a very say and depressed lady realize that Monday may not be our dismissal day but Tuesday could be!

(Doctors said he is still going home and not to cry later...... it will just be when home health gets everything set up!!!!)

Valentines & Friendship Parties!

2009-02-13T20:44:00.009-06:00

Well it has been party time at school lately! Melea & Adrian's were Thursday. I helped in the resource room and their party also on Thursday and Colin & Devon's were Friday.

Party days are always a depressing time for me. I wish I could go into them more upbeat, and excited but I always get to be smacked in the face that there is something different about my "chromosomally enhanced" children now when I attend their parties in their integrated rooms than I was we were in preschool or just go to their resource room celebrations.

It was one of the reasons I was so looking forward to Adrian going to school this year! It is nice that I can go and see her interacting and participating and not hiding under the table or trying to run away.

And valentines (oh our school calls them friendship parties) Day celebrations are even more difficult...... cause they have required the signing of valentines, and of course each class has a different rule so Melea and Adrian are just supposed to put their name on them.....no other stuff, but Adrian fights me because she wants to give specific people specific ones. Melea can't really write all her name in such a small space and it takes three nights to get all 22 of hers signed. Devon only needs four, but he just scribbles so Miss Lynn writes his name and lets him scribble all over them, same for Eliza and Miranda.

However this year Colin's teacher wants them to put the other children's name on them...... what a nightmare....time consuming thing. Thank heaven for Miss Lynn and her helping me cause with all the hospital visits I just didn't have time to give Colin the time he deserved to complete this task (It took 3+ hours to get 17 valentines written on) with their name and his and of course he had to stop and draw one of his famous pictures on each one!

So Valentines day requires a lot of work from mom (Gosh I love Halloween....show up and watch them eat candy!) a head of time. Dad did try.... but he just doesn't get it, so thank heave for Miss Lynn!

Well I managed to make it to Adrian's party on time (I was waiting for a consult with the doctor) and it was fun, but I had to run back and forth between the preschool room and hers (thank heavens they are next to each other).....

Afterwards I take Adrian out to lunch for our special date. She loves Mexican and so off we went to our favorite Mexican place. She was so excited to go there and to eat lunch! I just love watching her enthusiasm! She is just so happy and excited and usually fun to spend time with!

We run back to school, I pump in the parking lot...making two bottles for Emerson. Adrian and I listen to the Wiggles while waiting! Then I go to our next party. In the resource room for Colin and Melea. I bring the crafts and the candy and the food. The kids were wonderful! All four of the little ones in the room (ironically two of them ARE NOT mine), we made candy necklaces, made a photo collage for our parents, while working on scissor skills and other fine motor craft skills and then the funnest activity was making the "Fruit and cheese kabob's" and eating them!

I think they all enjoyed this activity and we didn't leave them on a sugar high for their afternoon classes.

Melea's party was in the late afternoon and for a change..... she was not the worst behaved child in the class. She actually wanted to participate (I think it was the promise of ice cream sundaes at the end).

Colin & Devon's parties were Friday!

Colin's party was actually pretty fun. Maybe because his room parents don't plan too many activities, maybe cause it doesn't have the "one upmanship" that the other room parties seem to have! I really am not sure what makes it different, cause Colin is so much below his typical peers in so many areas (though these children all seem to love having him there) but this class he seems to really enjoy being in and sharing things with them when I watch him.

Colin makes me a necklace (which I am still wearing) after reading a wonderful story as a group and then they get a few cookies and capri sun. Simple and sweet.....it was just a special way to finish off what usually have been things that I dread going too.

Devon's school just had a small celebration and parents were not invited, but I know he enjoyed it cause I asked him how it went and he smiled and laid down on the floor and made his happy noise! (or maybe he was just happy to see me) It just made me smile and realize how loved I am and how much my kids need me!

We passed the Car Seat Test!!!!!

2009-02-12T20:12:00.004-06:00

Eric and I have been busy getting the house ready (if cleaning three to five days before anything.... means it will still be clean when he comes home LOL) ; We have taken the requisite CPR & First aide classes; watched all the videos and I am supposed to learn how to take care of a baby on Friday (I guess previous experience and having seven counts for little!)

But we passed the last hurdle this morning (other than the obvious of getting the orders and running out the door!)...... we sat up in our car seat for two hours! No saturation drops and no heart rate issues! Yeah for Emerson!!!!!

But of course I think I deserve a round of applause, I bought the car seat, made dad install it in the car (so it could be inspected) then I unhooked it from the van, and carried it with all my "crap" and my computer into the hospital got it to the NICU (it weighs 29 lbs and is dead weight) at 4 am! I also got it back to the car later on my way to the Melea and Adrian's valentine parties.

S0 I think mom deserves a little congratulations too!

Special Olympic Bowling Field Trip

2009-02-11T20:47:00.001-06:00

I went with Colin & Melea on their field trip yesterday. Well I actually met them their after going to the NICU at 3 am to visit Emerson and spending time with him till 9:30 am. It is so hard, because I do love riding the bus..... but Melea was so excited to see me.

Colin kept signing "Mommy light" and "Mommy sleep" ..... I think he was trying to say that mommy needs to sleep and what was I doing out in the light.... I have only been seeing them in the dark (after 5 pm each day till they go to bed) and then back to the hospital.

So Melea was so happy to see me, Colin just kissed me and helped his teacher put on his shoes and went on down to the other end of the bowling alley..... no come with me or I don't want to leave my mom......

He is growing up so much....... However Melea just wants me to stay with her and stand next to her or let her sit on my lap. She is not interested in bowling or her teacher........ just hugging and loving mom (boy I did sort of need that!!!)

Well her super aide. Mrs R..... gets her down to the alley and Meleas does awesome. She is still under seven (just for a few more days) therefore she gets to use bumpers. Melea bowled a 75 and and 89. She got two strikes and won a participation ribbon. She was so excited and wore it all night long and wanted it on her PJ's when we changed at home later that evening!

Colin did super also, though I only managed to get down there a few times to see him. Though he bowled a strike every time I was able to watch...... four in the two games. He still gets to use a ramp (if he wants too) but no more bumpers!!!!!

Colin won a silver medal for the day for his age bracket! He was not at first that interested in the medal but after Melea wanted it ..... he got very proud and very excited. He wore it home after school on the bus and let each of his siblings and mom try it on! It was really exciting to see how proud he was and how he tried to tell Miss Lynn and daddy what he did to win the medal (and it was really cool cause it was made out of metal and really nice!!!!) Adrian was a little jealous!

"No Nose Emerson!"

2009-02-10T20:15:00.001-06:00

I took Colin to visit Emerson today. He kept singing "no nose" and pointing to his own face. Now I am such a horrible mom cause I just nodded and smiled at him and pretend I had a clue of what he was trying to say! He just kept repeating it and was so excited!

He usually is really excited when we visit Emerson, so I did not think this was that unusual. All the way home we was telling me "no nose"! and "feel good"

About two hours later I realized he was trying to tell me that Emerson had nothing in his nose!!!!

Which I knew....... his feeding tube came out that morning, but I was surprised that Colin remember the tubes and was really so excited to learn that he was realizing that this must make Emerson (or possibly himself or me) feel better. Now I just have to wait for him to quit asking when Emerson is coming home....... he is just as annoying asking me everyday as I am sure I am to the doctors!

So congratulations Emerson...... no NG tube today!

The Zoo and the other kids!

2009-02-08T08:18:00.009-06:00

Miss Kay;a and I took the children to the zoo Saturday (in between my NICU visits). But he weather has been so nice we just had to get out and try the new quad stroller!!!! It just wasn't the same without Emerson, but Miss Kayla and I really were as excited about the stroller as we were about the 60 degree temperatures.

It was not the best zoo trip we have ever had. They have the high way all torn up, so it took forever to get into the parking lot after we got to the Zoo area. (35 minutes of mom why aren't we moving....... I love irony in the fact I was so excited for them to learn to talk...... then I was just praying that we parked before my patience wore too thin!)

We had to get lunch...... and of course my kids do not understand "lets wait till 1:30 pm.... crowds will be less....." Cause when they are hungry, they are hungry! So we waited in another line..... almost 40 minutes to get food with Melea and Adrian in line with me...... talking to me about how long the line was and crying how hungry they were.

Irony of irony, as we got one away from ordering, Adrian had to pee!!!! I told her she had to wait....... we weren't getting out of line, Kayla had the other kids outside watching the geese and other water foul while trying to round up enough chairs for the family. I really wasn't sure whose job was worse!

We all enjoyed our lunch. The kids got a kick out of feeding the ducks and geese the french fries. (not the original plan), but Devon decided to toss his food off the table and it made it down onto the melting ice in the pond. Adrian and Colin were so amazed that the birds were not slipping on the ice as they fought over the food!

We then went to the reptile house to see the snakes...... we found out we do not like hills with the new stroller!!!! Course I really want to have a zoo that is not built on hills to make MY LIFE easier! But we managed to make it up the big hill and spend about 25 minutes looking at all the reptiles and amphibians in there till the low light made Devon angry!.

We had to sing to Devon all the way through the ape, and chimp exhibit (all of us .... including Adrian & Melea while Colin held his hand). We then went to the carousel..... and took a whirl, though Miranda was so adamant that she wanted to ride again....... she turned around and climbed back on after we had left and were loading up the stroller (she climbed under the bars)!

We then went to see the bears and the penguins and puffins!!!! That stroller is huge.....33" across but we made it in and out the door at the penguin house! That was really exciting. Devon and Miranda both really enjoyed the penguin house today and tried to tell me about them. Eliza does the best sign for penguin with her whole body!!!!

We then stopped at the front of the bug house to play a little. Colin, Melea and Adrian climbed all over the large beetle!!!!! They had a blast for almost 10 minutes. Then they started posing for photos!

I love taking their pictures!!!!

But the coolest part was when Devon signed play!!!!! I decided to let him out of his wheel chair at this time because there were only children bigger than him on the bug or around at that moment. (remember he still likes hitting other children smaller than him when he wants to play with someone)

Well he took my hand and we both walked over to the bug, he pointed to it and wanted me to help him up! He said mom and pointed!!!!! Well I let him climb up and watched him as he made plans on how to get up higher and closer to Melea (she is his new best friend and substitute mom)!

It was amazing to see him making these plans and then see him smile as he carried them out! Melea was jumping up and down on the bugs head cheering him on and Colin ran around the side to "catch him" if he feel off...... OK maybe he was going to hit him and that encouraged Devon to stay on...... but we can think he would catch him!

Devon finally made it up to the head, and held on with Mom and Kayla in arm's reach...... but I really did have to step back to take this photo..... we were both amazed......especially with the fact we really forced ourselves to stay a the zoo when he was having one of his "pumpkin moments" and the onlookers were staring at the crazy lady singing "Itsy Bitsy Spider " for the 30th time!

Course he "slid / plopped off" a few seconds after I snapped it, but it was amazing!!!!

Next we stopped for pretzels and funnel cakes before we were to go home. Adrian went up to order with me this time, while Miss Kayla got every one juice and sat down and got ready for the bathroom parade to come. Adrian spent about 5 minutes telling me how much she likes pretzels and NOT funnel cakes...... they would be an "unhealthy" choice. Now I love pretzels and so does daddy (he never had a funnel cake till last year..... I guess not enough Church festivals in upstate NY)...... so Adrian had to have a pretzel to share with Melea ........ So I bought two of each!

The kids were waiting and really hungry again! They all asked for a piece of pretzel. However I found out none of them really wanted them....... Melea handed me back her chewed on piece and Jordan tried to put it into my mouth when I leaned over to check his juice box...... just what I wanted pre-chewed pretzels!

This whole time Adrian is telling all of us how "bad" the funnel cakes will be....... well they finally are ready, I go get them....... everyone now looks like they are having fun dumping powdered sugar all over their hears..... Colin looks the best, next thing I know Adrian has shoved her pretzel to the side and is devouring Melea's funnel cake!!!!! I get told she thought a "pretzel" was a funnel cake, and she really wanted the one with the white stuff!

Devon also successfully tried funnel cake for the first time! This time it didn't get spit back out at us and while Kayla took Melea, Colin and Adrian to the bathroom he kept trying to eat their parts that were on the table after he finished his! It was amazing to see him keep signing more and please. I had to go back and buy a third!

After our fun and long day at the zoo.... I took the kiddos home and then went back to spend the night with Emerson at the NICU! But it sure was a fun day with the kid!

Jordan's First Haircut!

2009-01-31T22:33:00.000-06:00

Jordan got his first haircut today! He is so grown up and well on his way into the terrible two's (see Pre -pro wrestling in my mudroom!), though he seems to want to help me do everything.....

It is a lot like the Dr. Jekyll / Mr. Hyde transition, and it usually involves him throwing himself on the floor and a lot of screaming!!!!!

But today he sat so still and wonderful as Miss Sarah at our local Custom Cuts cut his hair for the very first time (she even managed to beat all of his siblings to it also!)

It really wasn't that long, but it could use some clean up along the edges. Sarah and Jordan both did a great job!

We celebrate before the hair cut excursion with lunch at our Chinese restaurant with five of the seven kids. (Grandma has 2 and Emerson is still in the NICU) The kids love to eat Chinese, though I am still not sure that sweet -n- sour chicken is not just a chicken McNugget in disguise. Devon and Colin love the lo mein the best! It is so much fun to see Devon eat the rice and the lo mein!

We also went shopping at Kohl's...... boy do I love their family bathroom!!!!! Devon and Colin were so intrigues with the "little" kid's potty in it...... they both tried it out and then flushed it several times in the time it took me to change all five of them.

Colin just found the little potty so "cool" ....actually so did his mom....... he flushed it several times as well as put several pieces of toilet paper down it before actually trying it out with his bottom! By the way did I mention he is potty trained enough to only use toilets he "likes"...... I guess I need to get Dad and school to get one of these potty's! Maybe that would make it easier!

We also went to home depot to buy the lights to put up under the kids loft!....... I stayed in the car with the kids and pumped milk for Emerson.....while Eric went shopping in our favorite store (even Colin & Jordan know it is the "cool" store!). I am really starting to hate pumping!!!!!!! And it is so hard to do that unobtrusively (I can breast feed without hardly anyone knowing, but hooking up the "robo" suckers and having a huge bag attached and the "pumping" noise is almost as dead a give way that something is up as the fact I have huge pointed / funny shaped breasts and a shirt straining to try to cover it up! (NO PICTURE THE CENSORS WOULD KILL ME!)

OK! You actually know your little one has been in the NICU too long when...........

you walk past an air compressor and start dripping milk
you know what the cafeteria is serving and it is on a 21 day rotation
you know the maintenance staff by first name
you have learned at what time to get there to get the good parking spaces
the front lobby guard knows your name and the receptionist starts printing your tag before you get there
you feel like the only reason your some likes you is that you are "bringing" the milk!

and you are counting the hours till you can bring him home!

The mudane and the utterly ridiculous!

2009-01-23T17:13:00.005-06:00

Besides my spelling ability! There are so many things in life that you are required to do...... just to check it off on a piece of paper so someone can justify their job or some thing that it literally can cause me to scream!

(CAN YOU ALL TELL I HAVE SPENT TO LONG IN THE NICU TODAY)

Today I found out all the things I have to do to get my son out of the hospital. Ironically the least of which is him actually breathing on his own!

Eric and I (now remember Eric could not even have his name on the baby till I got discharged from the hospital he was baby boy LEAHY-SMITH!) have to take CPR classes ; watch different 2 videos, have our car seat checked and go to a preemie bonding class.

The CPR class makes sense to me (except we are both already certified cause of the adoption and good through April) ..... but they don't have a spot for "have cards/or currently certified" so we have to take it miss 2 hours of our life....... then we have to watch a video on car seats and another on shaken baby syndrome.

Again irony of irony...... we have seven kids, I just bought 6 new car seats (I now have 8 of them)........ $220 each for the van........ they are great ones (radian 80.....5 point harness to 80 lbs and goes as low as 5 lbs) and I love them!

I have been using car seats for almost 9 years now and I find it ironic to watch a video on how to install, and why we need to use them. I honestly think I could pay a semester (possibly 2) of my nanny's college tuition with the dollars I have spent on car seats over the last 8+ years!!!!!. HECK I wish we had seats that restrained them in other places too (like restaurants or the ball game or the zoo)

But that also could be why I have to watch shaken babies..... course again after 7 kids, five home studies and all our adoption classes you would think that this has been covered and we have at least proven our ability to parent without this.... but alas I guess that 35 minute video will fix this ability in some parents or present something that will keep a normal person from doing this...... again time I am not getting back!

Preemie bonding, we seem to breasting feeding well.... so I am thinking my bonding is going as well as it can when I am not in my own home, with all the kids, and having to have 10-20 interruptions every hour into our life (from weighing the poop nappies, to alarms always going off somewhere, to people in the hall to lights, and vitals........ plus the normal baby issues we have!)

Speaking of bonding Eric got to hold him today for the first time. It has been because he was sick and we needed to wait till his antibiotics kicked in till he could hold him, cause Eric had a really sore throat and a slight head cold for a few days.... but it never stopped him from visiting, or bringing me to the hospital or from singing to him while he was here . (Emerson really likes to hear his dad sing!)

So I am happy the two of them can start bonding. I guess it is like me with his penis...... I finally got to be sure he was a boy when I got to change his diaper myself (he was 7 days old at that time) up until then I had been taking every one's word for it! We just have to do it when we can and when we are able all will be revealed. By the way Daddy and him looked so cute and comfortable! Like slipping into your favorite pj's or a well worn pair of shoes...... it was beautiful to see them together. It almost made me cry our last little baby!

Emerson UPDATE:

He is up 28.5 grams (or paper clips) since yesterday is a 1/4 inch longer since birth, his PIC line is out and all IV's and supplemental feed are ceased, he is eating at the breast when mom and breats are in the same room with him! He got to meet Kayla and she got to love on him a ton! And Eric sang the entire 2nd half of Jesus Christ Superstar to him this afternoon!

Devon says "bye bye addie" & Emeerson Update!

2009-01-22T16:39:00.005-06:00

This morning...... just after the most awesome husband in the world packed all of the "CRAP" I need for a whole day at the NICU with Emerson........ my breast feeding bag (snacks protein bars, pumping supplies, writing stuff, medicines); my computer & all the stuff I need to start our taxes (I have a notebook which was making its first journey into the outer reaches of the neighborhood with me today); the breast milk bag with ten 2 oz full bottles,the camera and my cell phone.

I turned to Devon and said.... ''bye bye''....... he waved right back at me and said "bye bye" . I asked him to say mommy, which he did....... but then he said "bye bye"to daddy.

I was really surprised........ usually he sort of ignores Eric (which is about time cause 6 other children all have said signed or spoken the words "DADDY" long before they every uttered mommy!) So I do a lot of private gloating that at least one likes me better to learn to say mama first!

Well I said to Eric, Devon was talking to you, he turned and I said Devon can you say "daddy". Next thing I know we have a "bye bye addie!" coming out of his mouth. He waved and then attempted to sign. I repeated the correct pronunciation and he repeated the phrase....... and the motion again! I repeated and made sure Eric was paying attention this time....... and again Devon said "bye bye and addie!".

I really hated all the time I spent in the hospital..... but I guess it had one really good effect!!!! Devon learned he has a daddy too!

In regards to Emerson today........ he is breathing better. Still on the nasal cannula 1L , still at 25 to 30 % and still having occasional times where he is breathing rapidly. However it seems less than yesterday.

He was up 60 grams (paperclips) today! Again he is gaining weight really well....... we just got to breath on our own!

Breast feeding went so much better today ..... he took breast milk at 8:30, 11:40 and 2:30. Each time was almost 20 minutes a the breast. He still sucked and stopped......... but he got a lot of milk in cause I pumped afterwards and I got very little from each side.

The still put about 30 ml through the NG tube...... cause I know he is not getting a full feed (he needs 56 ml each time to grow for the 8 feedings at this moment). They also added the milk fortifier to the milk going in the tube. The docs (not the head one, but all the young residents are all concerned about how we will know if he has eaten enough or not!!!! Numbers and quantities work so well for scientific people!!!! (remember I am one of them too...... BUT REALLY after 7 kiddos of them I do know a thing or two about how to see if baby is getting enough food)

He gets his PIC line out as soon as someone gets down here to do that!!!! (The reason why he only can wear one arm in his clothes......) this will simplify feeding..... it is always in the way...... now all the wires left on him that we have are the heart and pulse ox and the O2. The O2 is really the only one that we will likely loose before we get discharged..... these doctors love their numbers........

I really enjoyed the day at the hospital so much!!!!! (except for the taxes) We did a lot of snuggling, I changed him all the time, gave him his sponge bath, and changed his outfit!!!! He looked great in the green, but looks so cute in the yellow too! (now that the jaundice has resolved!). I also had them raise the head of his bed a little higher to increase the angle....... he seems to breathing better!

Can't wait to spend the night this weekend. It really is helping me feel more like his mom, than the lady who just drops by!

LEG UPDATE:

I got tights on them this morning!!!!!! OK they were pregnancy size 4x ones, (and I was wearing a B size before pregnancy......... ) but they are covered and warm AND I AM HAPPY!

The legs were really beginning to chafe and get chapped from all the cold weather , though ironically it was 59 degrees here today!

Still no ability to get shoes on, and I hope this changes soon. I also did not get as tired and they didn't hurt as much today at the hospital..... I am thinking the tights didn't let any new build up happen....... so I will keep wearing them for a while!

Emerson update 1-21-09

2009-01-21T22:49:00.007-06:00

I have to write about POOP again! I am so excited about Emerson's poop!!!!!!

Emerson has yellow seedy mustard color and consistency POOP!!!! This is a good, no really and awesomely great things....a really a great thing! Cause it shows that all the time spent attached to the breast pump is a doing something for my son.

It means he has the ability to eat and go all the way through! It makes me so proud being the "pumping fiend" that I am!!!! I really am enjoying the fact that Adrian and Colin keep calling me "Robo mom" when I am pumping.

Adrian also wants to help me each time we pump with setting up the pump and she washes out the bottles and helps with the labels. I am so proud of how she wants to help her baby brother!

A lot of time I still feel like he isn't my son. It is so hard to leave him in total care of others when we leave each day. I even packed my clothes yesterday to stay...... I wanted to stay overnight, I needed to stay overnight....... but I cried when Adrian asked me not to on the phone (daddy asked too.......) they missed me so much when I was in the hospital (those 17 long and very lonely days!

Sometimes I wonder if I feel so bad cause I kept referring to Emerson as the "Anti-Christ"...... OK that is such a harsh thing for a mom to say, but realize I had a TPN line and an NG tube in and was still puking over a gallon every day!!!!!! As well as being hooked up to an IV and them running all types of things to try to get my blood levels back to normal (AND POTASSIUM HURTS LIKE HELL!!!!!! And has to run for 5 hours of constant stinging!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) I have photos of this if anyone wants a photo of pregnancy at its worse for a birth control scenario for their kids!

I am so excited about how breast feeding went the first time today! He latched the second time, he used me for a snooze pillow the first feeding (no surprise there)..... he also seems to be on east coast time..... they want him to eat every three hours (at 3, 6, 9 & 12)........ well he is always ready at hours of 2,5, 8 and 11!

He latched really well for as small as his little mouth is...... it seemed to go very well compared to the bottle feedings, it seemed much easier for him to coordinate his suck, swallow mechanism than with the bottle. He also did not have any breathing or heart rate drops! (like with the bottle)

I can't wait to do this all day tomorrow and to spend the night this weekend when Kayla comes home to help with the kids!

Speaking of the kids, I can't ever say thank you enough to all the people who have helped Eric and I with the children during the last month! Kayla, Lynn, Angie, Tammy, Trina, Jane A, TiTi, Grandma, Nick, Debbie and Julie! They have been amazing! They helped undecorat my house (not a small task with 16 trees & garland and lots of "JUNK")

The kids have been wonderful at all the changes too (EVEN DEVON...... awesome) Also to my neighbors and friends who have brought food and cookies to make it easier! This has helped so much with planning and making caring for the seven kids easier!

Staying at the hospital today was a lot of dun...... we spent all day there..... I got to clothe, bathe, and care for the little guy all day! He even proved he was just like his older brother...... he can teleport his pee and then lul me into a a "oh how cute he is coma" and then I forget about that magic ability to pee sideways and then he gets me darn good and sprays it every where!

LEG UPDATE:

We are so tired of these swollen feet and legs!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am actually a lot less swollen than I was (ALMOST 27 LBS OF WATER GONE!!!!!!!!!!!!) but just about 30 water pounds to go!!!

Still have 10 baby pounds too! Some where in there but the total of 57 lbs higher after leaving hospital than when we entered on the 23rd of December.

But the next coolest thing after the poo! Is that I actually got to buy some slippers only asize bigger than my usual (daddy's were 12 WW in men's) but i had to cut them to get them on!!

I am going to try to put on a pair of my "end" of pregnancy maternity tights tomorrow (they would not stay up before Christmas...I was to skinny still) but I need to get something on my legs the cold air and the swelling is chapping them way to much! We shall see........ I am thinking maybe Saturday and the one pair of shoes I have in size 11 might fit! or my slip on backless sandals (Here is hoping!)

I an walking better, still using the walker on really long distances (OR THE WALL) I just keep worrying about falling and loosing my balance!

Still not able to drive yet,,,,, maybe we will try this weekend. I can get in the passenger side of the van.... it has two handles and I can pull up, but not as easy (OK Eric says it doesn't look that easy) on the driver's side! I think Eric is really worried about me falling and hurting myself! (I fell Saturday in the garage! ) Like I needed another bruise!

All the other issues are doing well and I am so excited I "don't pee" when I cough or sneeze any more and it doesn't hurt to laugh (which I am doing a lot at myself lately!)

I know when Mommies Get to be sick now!

2009-01-19T07:43:00.005-06:00

When they can no longer stand or walk and just have to quit moving cause it is IMPOSSIBLE!

I made a commitment to myself to write 3-4 times a weak in December...... well it stooped on the 17th cause I finally got to sick. I actually spent 17 days in the hospital (OK 3 hospitals) while they tried to figure out what was wrong with me and keep me pregnant.

In case you don't know....... it didn't work the way they wanted, but they did find and fix what was wrong! I am on my way back to recovery (still have 37 of the 59 lbs of water weight to loose they put on since my Dec 30th admission to St. John's) and we have a son who was born via emergency C section at 1:39 am on January 8th at 33 weeks. (this was about 2 hours after my first surgery for a bowel obstruction....... NOT THE FLU or HYPEREMMISIS (which I did have too) or a VIRUS or in my head (course how could 3400 ml of vomit an hour be in my head!

So I will go back and keep adding the information on both Devon and the last few weeks so you all can get some other insights into our lives.

Which have been overly excited and very busy in the last few weeks.

Hair cut for Dad & Devon gets "locked"

2009-01-18T08:03:00.001-06:00

We took Devon TO GET HIS HAIR LOCKED FOR THE FIRST TIME YESTERDAY!!!!!

This was an interesting experience, imagine deer in headlights with, scared child, with a face of utter amazement and then the determination of one mom and one hair dresser, and a daddy who can hold him while all heck and wiggling is breaking loose!

I was so proud of my husband, he held and hugged Devon for a little over an hour, as well as singing to him the majority of the time to attempt to keep him occupied. I have high praise (always have) for Rochelle at our local Custom Cuts........ she worked with him and tried and gave suggestions on how to get him calmed (and he really wasn't that great) He was like working on a moving target!
HOWEVER IT LOOKS AWESOME!!!!! I can't wait till we are able to braid it....... course after this that could be an all day process....... but I know with time and experience he will learn to love having his hair done.

Colin actually had the best reaction....... he rubbed it and made his happy noises, told me with his signs he wanted his hair to do that and it was like a fish (I think he meant sea anemones..... but they are in a fish tank therefore the concept of fish!

So basically it went better than expected, however it has room for improvement........ BUT HE IS SO CUTE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am spending the night with my son!

2009-01-17T22:42:00.000-06:00

Leaving Emerson at the hospital has been one of the harder things I have ever done! All of my kids roomed in after birth, they stayed within my or daddy's eyesight the whole time from birth till we discharged!

IT HAS NOT WORKED THIS WAY! Heck Eric didn't even know he had a son till about an hour after he was born! (another story another time)

he has been in the specialty care and then the NICU at a different hospital (thank heavens connect by a tunnel...... )

We also have never left any of the kids alone at the hospital except for the amount of time it took to take a shower or run to get food in the cafeteria! So I am hating this so much!!!!

But I have been still a little too weak to stay overnight (the plan is I will go down at 7 pm and be home by 7 am every day as soon as I can drive..... that way I am not missed so much) and can feed him 4 times and then they only have to bottle feed four times!

Well it went really well! They have the most comfortable (by hospital standards) chair in his room..... I got to feed him three times, the nurse asked to use the NG tube for one feeding because he is still breathing so hard! (He went back on the O2 because his restorations were high (the pulse ox fine 98-100%) today which does affect how much he can eat in the bottle...... he gets annoyed with the NG and the nasal cannula!

I loved getting to hold him, he snuggles and falls asleep so well....... I just can't wait to do this without all the tubes and IV'S. Waiting for that day! And I am still feeling awful about leaving him alone (I know the nurses will take great care of him!!!! but it is not the same)

So I have to learn to just concentrate on my job....... which is to get better, get off the walker, regain my ability to walk and balance (I fell in the garage earlier this evening...... on Devon...... I really felt stupid and it hurt, got about 8 new bruises ...... to go with all the IV and blood draw ones!!!!! But I was so worried about squishing Devon and he was trying to "stop" me (again a huge feet for a 40 lb guy and my huge swollen BOTTOM & LEGS!!!!

We took the kids shopping today...... Garden Ridge, Walmart and then to El Nopal...... trying to make them feel like all is OK and back to somewhat normal! I GOT IN THE VAN!!!!! I have found out that I have a lot of upper body strength that I didn't know I had!

It was actually easier to ride in than Eric or mom's car! The seat is taller and my legs did not fall asleep! I missed my van.... and I did get some of the trash out of it (it drives me nuts to have trash in the car!) I probably overdid it!

I am still so ridiculously swollen!!!!! The bottom and hips and upper thighs are significantly down, but the lower legs and feet keep getting tighter!!!!!!!!!!!! They hurt to touch, get stepped on (each child managed to do this at least twice today) and they really hurt when Daddy ran into them with the Walmart cart!!! I had a harder time getting Daddy's slippers on today (men's size 12 and ww!) They are actually getting tighter around the ankle! I don't know how they could....but they are!

I really can't wait to get them to the point I can drive..... my two abdominal scars and surgery areas really only hurt if you touch them...... or I over do it (by Jane standards) but these legs are making it impossible to do what I want to!!!!! I hate being dependent on others (even Eric) I will be such a horrible old person!!!!!!

But being able to take care of Boo Boo (Emerson) and to feed him and hug him and hold him for that 14 hours straight (minus the broccoli & carrot run to the cafeteria at 2 am........ gosh I love carrots now~ I have eaten them 2x a day since I was able to eat solids!) made me feel a lot better. I will start this every night as soon as I can drive.

Melea gets to meet ner new brother!

2009-01-16T08:16:00.001-06:00

We took Melea and Adrian to the hospital today.

They had a field trip to the science center with school (Eric went..... this could be a post in itself)...... all I know is Eric said never ever again and he didn't even ride the bus with the 40 kindergardeners! (nor did he take photos.... he was worried about loosing the camera)

This was Melea's first visit and Adrian's third. We decided to wait until he had a few less tubes and wires. Melea was still worried that the IV was hurting him...... she kept telling me about the baby's IV and his "boo boos" . She was also afraid to tough him. (Good plan cause she came down with a stomach ache and virus 24 hours later) Melea really loved meeting her new brother!!!!)

Eric and I took the girls to lunch a the Children's hospital cafeteria! The love to eat at the cafeteria and to sit and watch the fish in the tanks!!!!! This is something they beg for ever time we go to the hospital for a specialist visit!!!!!

I did have a great morning visiting with Emerson! I brought in clothes and soothie bottles for him. He will almost be up to enough to use our bottles with the breast milk soon!

He can start wearing clothes and hopefully we are a step closer to coming home! I know the girls and Colin are ready!

We also took the girls to the sibling play room and were able to leave them for a almost 2 hours! They loved it!!!! Eric was a little late at picking them up......he fell asleep! But it was an awesome service and the girls loved it so much.

My legs and feet still suck!!!..... they are still very painful..... and I am having to pick them up to move them! However about 2/3 of the water is off my hips and upper few inches of my thighs then it balloons out (think Popeye arms but on my legs!)

Can't wait to take the girls back........ girls want to go.... but to the Sibling Playroom not to see their brother!

I wish I could explain (or contain) my happiness........

2008-12-17T10:28:00.004-06:00

if this makes any sense to anyone..... I was so excited last evening at my four oldest and Jordan playing and interactions while we were waiting for Charlie Brown to start.

Devon snuggled with me on my bed for 18 minutes by himself and wanted me to hug and kiss him as we watched Mickey's Christmas Carol (on ABC FAM Channel)....... it seems like no big deal...... but when he came to us in May he was afraid of my bed, afraid or not able of being held for more than 30 to 45 seconds...... and watching TV was not something he would share........ WITH ANYONE!

Melea and Colin came in after they helped Kayla put Miranda and Eliza to bed....... they started jumping on mom's big bed (same one Devon and I are lying on) there was no move to flee.....no screaming...... no fear....... he just looked at me and moved closer......

The jumping and then trying to get Devon to play with them went on for about 11 minutes....... they would come sit next to him, stroke or rub his back and talk to him, then go jump some more.....They were not interested in Mickey or the Pooh special afterwards...... I think that is a mom thing).

During this time Adrian and Jordan and Kayla came to join us....... no hitting or pushing from Devon at his favorite target (Jordan) he did sit up and start paying attention to the others....... eventually he gave in and let Melea pull him into playing a little and one or two jumps.......

Then the coolest thing happened......... besides the 5 minutes of interaction with Melea and Colin, when Devon wanted to return to Mom he found his spot occupied (note .....Jordan jumped into my arms as soon as Devon vacated them) instead of hitting or starting to scream or all of the normal things....... he touched me and looked at me and then touched Jordan.... I reminded him "good touching" he wanted Jordan to move and his spot back ....... I tried to get him to go back to Melea or Kayla...... Devon was not interested so he shook his head no ....... pushed (in a nice way at Jordan twice more..... not movement from Jordan there........)

So Devon got off my bed, calmly walked to his room BY HIMSELF (again he usually has to have some one's hand or you need to be a step behind or ahead of him...... he rarely goes somewhere on his own .....imagine a really cute duck with an afro and the cutest eyes ever following you where ever you go)....... He waited at his door till Kayla got there and then signed all done and wanted to go to bed!

To me...... mom who some days has very little things that excite me greatly...... I just want to scream from the roof top..... how cool this was......

again if you didn't know Devon before, didn't know us and realize that Devon is 7 1/2 years old, you would wonder why this would excite a mom this much.......

BUT IT WAS SO DARN COOL TO ME!!!!!!! I WAS SO PROUD OF MY SON and how far he has come in the last 6 months and of all the other kids because they are trying to bring him further...... but they don't seem to push him any further than he can go at the moment! I love them and how they take care of each other so much!

So maybe we didn't all make it to watch Charlie Brown together for almost 35 minutes Devon interacted with me, the real world and his family! And my other kids showed me (again) how much they love and seem to understand him, and will be here for Devon however he needs or wants them in his life!

NEW RULE!!!!!! At the Grumpy house!!!!

2008-12-17T08:46:00.006-06:00

Daddy must tell me before 7:35 am that he couldn't get the car up the driveway due to the ice (the night before) so I have enough time to put all kids in the van and not to assume that the ice or the plow will show up to save us!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

URGH I hate winter....... I love my house, but the drive and the road to the drive SUCK!

FORGET THIS OR NOT TELL ME ERIC and your job is to take all the expletive kids and wait for the bus

(side note I also would have put on warmer clothes and shoes had I known!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!....off to the heater and hot tea.......)

SNOW DAY!

2008-12-15T08:53:00.003-06:00

OK ....really an ice day!

Every mother's fear or scorn.... the snow day or unexpected day off school!

I actually love spending time with the kids and occasionally like the extra sleep time (and it is so hard if they don't cancel school to decide if I can go get them if the buses can not run!...... that drive way~!) Course I expected the 7 am call from my neighbor asking me for the phone number of the guy who plows and salts are driveway! (and of course she didn't disappoint!)

But all the kids were up at 5 am playing in their rooms and telling me about the snow!!!!! They couldn't wait for the sun to come up and wanted to go and play in the snow! (it really was more ice and we didn't get to play outside.......)

But it was a fun day anyways and we finished the indoor decorating and will clean the closet that was on my list for three weeks and keeps getting pushed to the back, and their is always laundry!

If I am lucky Eric will stay here and work from home..... I have been have some pretty hard Braxton Hicks and am really tired!

So come on winter.......... do your worst!

When do Mommies........

2008-12-14T12:36:00.002-06:00

get to be sick?

Yesterday I was so proud........

2008-12-13T16:58:00.004-06:00

Adrian told me the truth ahead of time!!!!! Eric & I have been working on this for a while and I am just so excited that she did it.......... I can forgive almost anything ........ I just want to know ahead of time!

Here is what happened......

At kindergarten they have four different levels of cards green, yellow, red and blue. They get them for behavior Green is for a good day........ blue ..... well go right to Principal's office!

Ironically I had been expecting Princess Grumpy to have a lot of issues with in class room behavior and to drive her teacher nuts...... but she has had all green cards so far. We get a paper we are supposed to sign each Friday with the colors for the whole week, and if they had all green they get to pick a special prize from the treasure chest (again slightly annoying when she brings home the same crap I sent in for the chest..... but another story!)

Well Friday we are getting ready for school..... we all just put Devon on the bus and hugged the heck out of him cause he waved bye bye and said it too!

We are walking back in and I say to her "What do you want to pick out today from Cochran's Treasure chest?"

I am expecting to hear a crown or a necklace or a cool pencil or something....... I hear instead " Well Mom, I have been meaning to bring this up since Wednesday........"

My mind starts rolling, and I am a little worried (She is my kid after all and do I have a temper! as well as little regard for the rules at times)

Wed was also early dismissal day ...... which is really hard because both morning and afternoon classes are there at the same time and there are almost 40 children and adults in the room! SO I am really starting to get worried.

She then proceeds to tell me she got a yellow card for not following directions and messing around with another student (didn't need to guess which one...... she has a little boy in the afternoon that neither he nor Adrian can behave really well when the other is around!...... not an excuse mind you.... just observation!)

I give her a big hug and tell her it is all right...... we all have a day or two every once and while where we don't want to follow the directions, I just hope that she listens better the next time and that I was so proud she told me! (before I got a call or saw the paper.......)

I really was proud and I reminded her later when we told Eric about it...... that mom hasn't been listening really well lately and has been really on edge and short fused so I could understand why she might have similar problems........ she did say that at least she wasn't pregnant! (my excuse)

No good deed........

2008-12-12T08:40:00.005-06:00

goes unpunished~~!

I have been trying to do the good recession Christmas mom...... not many new presents..... not a lot of money spent...... seven kids......lots of clothes and PJ's and underwear.

I went for gifts we could use together as a family (we enlarged the play loft; got used Foosball; bumper pool / game table; neat air hockey table; grampy sent us a tent! and other grandpa sent me $ to buy some more camping gear~!.......love Craig's list!!!!

(remember I think with 8 Christmas behind us......I am sure we actually have every toy on the planet and then some)

Well I decided to get Colin and the rest a used ski ball machine (he loves ski ball and I thought it might work well for reinforcement at school with the tokens) and to buy Eric a really neat used CD jukebox! And about 150 cds to replace the collection he had to sell when he was laid off in 2001~ it took forever to find all of them....... (that and I am tired of hearing him whine about it!)

I was so proud of myself and I am only looking for a great hot tub we can agree on and a pool table w/ a ping pong top! The kids will love it...... daddy is making them benches to stand on to reach the tables and we got a few of the $5 games from Wal-mart.......... lots of fun....... and a whole lot less than I usually have spent.
-
But as I said above no good deed goes unpunished!

The really nice guy dropping off the ski ball machine, got lost twice (surprise.... I did warn him about trying to find our house in the dark...... let alone turn around a trailer) so he was late........
his friend was now in a hurry....... I just wanted to get them in and covered so Eric and the kids would be surprised!

Well they did get the jukebox in........but it was too cold to set up and of course I can't move it to its final position or put in the cd's till we get the ski ball in and I rearrange the game room again!!!! (I know MOM .....not what 30 week preggers should do on her own!) So it is just in the middle of the floor....... the ski ball is in the garage........ nice guy and Eric will move it in tonight or tomorrow.....

but perfect Christmas mom really wanted to have it all done before Eric had gotten home and wrapped. I always want to surprise him........ BUT IT NEVER HAPPENS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I just sort of gave up....... yes MOM....... I gave up....... I cried cause I couldn't make it all work, then I went and made spaghetti & bread......we all watched Rudolph's shinny New Year and then off to bed with the short ones! (sort of hoping Eric would miss it when he got home..... but no luck!)

He tripped over it, and he was surprised! (just not on Christmas day...... oh well..... there is always next year~!)

He did say it will be a really cool game room when I am done (I can't wait to paint and plaster & tile it...... but that will happen after baby number 8 in late Feb!...... unless I go insane!)

It is decorating time!!!!!

2008-12-05T09:07:00.003-06:00

The Crazy Christmas Mom is back!!!!!

This year we have fourteen trees to put up! (I collect Christmas ornaments..... so I have to have trees....... I actually want to make about 5 more..... a nutcracker, an americanna type, a fiesta, quilling /quilled ornament , and a bubble tree!)

It seems to be taking me longer than ever! But I am trying not to panic or stress..... rationalizing it will get done, cards will be written and mailed when able, and

WE WILL ALL HAVE FUN!!!!!! No matter what!

Well I will post the photos of the trees as I get them up and down loaded! I love Christmas and hope that he start of this season finds all of you happy and looking forward to spending time with all your loved ones! Cause that is all that really matters (and waiting for a 50 degree day to put up the outdoor lights!)

How many trips to Home Depot are required to .......

2008-11-28T08:56:00.005-06:00

do any home improvement project....... the world will never know? (paraphrasing one of my favorite tootsie roll pop commercials) Ant least in in our home it is always 2 more than you had planned on!!!!!

This is one of those things that can cause Eric and I to fight or argue more than any thing!!!!! Examples:

When one of us cuts the wood wrong (OK IT IS ERIC!!!!!) and I have a table leg that is 30 inches and three that are 37 inches........... and you can never glue that piece back on...... SO IT IS GRUMPILY one of us (USUALLY ME) goes back to the store for...... more wood or more screws or more wire

we are enlarging the kids play loft for Christmas this year...... last weekend he and our helper worked for hours (by the way Eric's estimate for the whole project was 5 hours...... and it is still not done to where I wanted it last weekend..... different story and different issue) they cut all the loft legs at 4 foot...... SOME OF MY KIDS ARE TALLER THAN 4 foot!!!!! THEY WOULD HIT THEIR HEADS!!!! and it was at 4' and the directions I left said 5 '....... but hey who reads directions....... SO REALLY REALLY GRUMPILY this pregnant lady goes back to Home Depot to buy 5 more 4" x 4" x 10' pieces .....

Now of course you would think I could find help loading my cart, or what I need is always on the second shelf up........ so no orange smocked people in sight..... I manage to get them into the lumber cart...... course then someone shows up and offers to push it up tot he front by the way!

I but the staple gun he is going to need cause ours evaporated into thin air....... and I am not coming back when he realizes it........ I also get a GFCI outlet to replace one (another project which I am sure will take 3 x as long as it should..... not Eric's fault though..... every time we mess with the electrical in this house or change something out I am surprised it hasn't burned down yet (to date over 18K in electrical repairs...... and still going by the way)......

I check out and of course she pages someone to help me load them...... 10 minutes no luck..... so I give up and put them in the van myself!!!!!!

So far we are on two trips to Home Depot and one to Wal-Mart for this project........ we have to go buy more wood for the steps and the railing today......... I am hoping for only one trip....... but I really doubt it!

And of course when this project is done...... we are knocking out / taking out some walls downstairs and that will be even more fun next weekend!

I am glad though that Colin and Adrian love going to the home improvement stores........ cause we spend a lot of time there!

Happy Thanksgiving!!!! To ALL!!!!

2008-11-27T10:01:00.009-06:00

Today is the day I get to count my blessings..... and really think about all that I have and all that I am thankful for!

I have seven children and receives 4 pine cones and peanut butter covered centerpieces, three photo collages about things they were thankful for (ironically.... I was not on any of them!..... Aunt Karen....we got to talk!!!!)..... lots of beautiful hand print turkeys , a really neat pilgrim hat and and Indian head dress (with hot pink & green)...... not sure how historically accurate it was..... but Melea sure was proud to show it to me!

But today I realize how happy I am to be a mom.... 7 months of straight throwing up aside...... being a mom and Eric's wife mean more to mean than anything I have ever done to this point. So here are the nine things I am the most thankful for....... Eric, Colin , Devon, Melea, Adrian, Eliza, Miranda, Jordan and the soon to released.... Baby Emmerson!

I am including this copy of the traditional forwarded email type I get a lot of....... for your enjoyment.

Because today I am so excited!!!! Is the first thanksgiving I AM NOT MAKING PUREED TURKEY or having to put it in a blender or mashing it in the potatoes to hide it!.......

Everyone now eats solids, no more tubes or puree's or sippy cups or bottles (till Feb)!!!!!! I can proudly announce that Devon will be eating his turkey cut up in 1" x 1" cubes......

only a special needs parent would understand....... but he has been with us for 6 1/2 months and we now it chopped food and very little has to go through the blender any more...... it has been almost 2 months since anything but margarita's or smoothies have been in my blender...... something else to celebrate!

So enjoy your family and friends and have a wonderful holiday weekend!

Thoughts of a Mom

By Maureen K. Higgins

Many of you I have never even met face to face, but I've searched you out every day. I've looked for you on the Internet, on playgrounds and in grocery stores. I've become an expert at identifying you. You are well worn. You are stronger than you ever wanted to be. Your words ring experience, experience you culled with your very heart and soul. You are compassionate beyond the expectations of this world. You are my "sisters." Yes, you and I, my friend, are sisters in a sorority. A very elite sorority.

We are special. Just like any other sorority, we were chosen to be members. Some of us were invited to join immediately, some not for months or even years. Some of us even tried to refuse membership, but to no avail. We were initiated in neurologist's offices and NICU units, in obstetrician's offices, in emergency rooms, and during ultrasounds. We were initiated with somber telephone calls, consultations, evaluations, blood tests, x-rays, MRI films, and heart surgeries. All of us have one thing in common. One day things were fine. We were pregnant, or we had just given birth, or we were nursing our newborn, or we were playing with our toddler.

Yes, one minute everything was fine. Then, whether it happened in an instant, as it often does, or over the course of a few weeks or months, our entire lives changed. Something wasn't quite right. Then we found ourselves mothers of children with special needs. We are united, we sisters, regardless of the diversity of our children's special needs. Some of our children undergo chemotherapy. Some need respirators and ventilators. Some are unable to talk, some are unable to walk.

Some eat through feeding tubes. Some live in a different world. We do not discriminate against those mothers whose children's needs are not as "special" as our child's. We have mutual respect and empathy for all the women who walk in our shoes. We are knowledgeable. We have educated ourselves with whatever materials we could find. We know "the" specialists in the field. We know "the" neurologists, "the" hospitals, "the" wonder drugs, "the" treatments. We know "the" tests that need to be done, we know "the" degenerative and progressive diseases and we hold our breath while our children are tested for them. Without formal education, we could become board certified in neurology, endocrinology, and psychiatry.

We have taken on our insurance companies and school boards to get what our children need to survive, and to flourish. We have prevailed upon the State to include augmentative communication devices in special education classes and mainstream schools for our children with cerebral palsy. We have labored to prove to insurance companies the medical necessity of gait trainers and other adaptive equipment for our children with spinal cord defects. We have sued municipalities to have our children properly classified so they could receive education and evaluation commensurate with their diagnosis.

We have learned to deal with the rest of the world, even if that means walking away from it. We have tolerated scorn in supermarkets during "tantrums" and gritted our teeth while discipline was advocated by the person behind us on line. We have tolerated inane suggestions and home remedies from well-meaning strangers. We have tolerated mothers of children without special needs complaining about chicken pox and ear infections.

We have learned that many of our closest friends can't understand what it's like to be in our sorority, and don't even want to try. We have our own personal copies of Emily Perl Kingsley's "A Trip To Holland" and Erma Bombeck's "The Special Mother." We keep them by our bedside and read and reread them during our toughest hours. We have coped with holidays.

We have found ways to get our physically handicapped children to the neighbors' front doors on Halloween, and we have found ways to help our deaf children form the words, "trick or treat." We have accepted that our children with sensory dysfunction will never wear velvet or lace on Christmas. We have painted a canvas of lights and a blazing Yule log with our words for our blind children. We have pureed turkey on Thanksgiving. We have bought white chocolate bunnies for Easter. And all the while, we have tried to create a festive atmosphere for the rest of our family. We've gotten up every morning since our journey began wondering how we'd make it through another day, and gone to bed every evening not sure how we did it. We've mourned the fact that we never got to relax and sip red wine in Italy.

We've mourned the fact that our trip to Holland has required much more baggage than we ever imagined when we first visited the travel agent. And we've mourned because we left for the airport without most of the things we needed for the trip. But we, sisters, we keep the faith always. We never stop believing.

Our love for our special children and our belief in all that they will achieve in life knows no bounds. We dream of them scoring touchdowns and extra points and home runs. We visualize them running sprints and marathons. We dream of them planting vegetable seeds, riding horses and chopping down trees. We hear their angelic voices singing Christmas carols. We see their palettes smeared with watercolors, and their fingers flying over ivory keys in a concert hall. We are amazed at the grace of their pirouettes. We never, never stop believing in all they will accomplish as they pass through this world.

But in the meantime, my sisters, the most important thing we do, is hold tight to their little hands as together, we special mothers and our special children, reach for the stars.

Spilt milk.....and all that makes me smile (and sometimes cry)

2008-11-20T14:18:00.012-06:00

Jordan is growing up so quickly........ I think he has really loved the kids returning to school and the magic three and a half hours we spend together..... each Mon thru Thurs!

He smiles, he hugs and he talks to me the whole time..... we play and we clean up...... we exercise...... run errands..... and basically just hang out a lot (and do tons of laundry).

Today he helped me clean the kitchen..... my 20 month old.... holds the dust pan for me..... and then today he tries to take it to the trash can....... imagine a little toddler wobbling over and spilling about 3/4 of all the stuff in the pan, but that face as he turned around showed so much pride an joy and happiness that I just wanted to hug him!!!!

I think this is one of the coolest things about being a parent! The chance to see full joy on a daily or sometimes hourly basis!

But I have so learned not to cry over spilt milk..... (even with the huge price increases this year)..... because in our family..... besides having a lot of spilt milk (and other liquids) comes a lot of joy at seeing all of the kids accomplish something new!

Sunday at Eric's birthday lunch with his children at El Nopal.... Devon made a huge jump in his developmental skills...... He drank a whole glass of lemon aide with a straw~!

What is the big deal..... he is almost 8..... BUT IT WAS HUGE!!!!! It was the last goal Eric and I had for him to complete before school started (OK again a little late it is November...... but time adjustment and dates changes are part of being a mom of my kids.....they do everything when they want.... not on my timeline!)

He has drank his juice or milk with a straw every day since..... no more sippy cups, no more remembering to bring one when go out or finding a moldy one in my van cause Eric or I forgot it!!!! I AM SO HAPPY!!!!

So today I was happy over spilt dust & dirt and thankful for a little less spilt milk cause Devon can use a straw NOW!!!

......... but you should have seen the floor in front of the sink at lunch when Miranda tried to help me clean the table........ she carried each glass over and put them in the sink....... one of them was upside down.......... but again....... that face of pride and joy and happiness for helping mommy do something!!!!

So today being a mom is also so worth a roll of paper towels!!!!

I can blog again & Happy 8th Birthday Colin

2008-11-19T09:35:00.007-06:00

We have now finalized Devon's adoption, and I can blog again (it was so hard to do this and not talk about him and all of the fun we had adding him to our family! So we didn't do any)

But I have almost 90 posts I have written I can go back and add as we go along....... now that names have changed and we are all legal!!!!!

So they will slowly be popping up with the actual dates as well as new ones! Though there are many posts where I feel that we may all not survive Devon or that I was crazy to do this...... Self doubt is something that is a huge issue for me. I never feel like I am a good mom, a good wife or even a nice person. I occasionally just want to be a turtle and pull my head in and hide from everyone!

BUT TODAY is COLIN MIGUEL's 8th birthday (we had his party in late October so we could go to the train place to ride with all his friends)

...... I AM SO PROUD OF HIM!!!!! He is doing so many amazing things this year (even if he drives his regular classroom teacher batty!) He has become the best and most awesome big brother to all of his siblings, he makes me smile and wants to help me do everything. He has developed an interest in cooking, he can unload the dishwasher and knows where everything should go! And he has developed a special love and relationship with Miranda..... he helps her and holds her and will make sure she is OK all the time...... he makes her walk down the steps and is just absolutely wonderful with her! I COULD NOT BE PROUDER TO CALL HIM MY SON !

He is starting to try to verbalize more (still no mommy..... but hey I know he is saving that for the most special moment we have to share yet!) I hear a consistent sound for "Devon", thank-you, "daddy", baby (Miranda); buba (Adrian) , Sponge Bob, and a few others. Besides the occasional word that just comes out so clearly that you wonder if he really said that....... but you never hear again!

And today marks the eighth anniversary of his birth ~! I can't believe how fast time has flown by! I can't believe that I have seven...soon to be eight children age eight or under (and most days this is awesome by the way). I can't believe that Colin loves Eric and I so much and how much he brings to all of our lives. How he can brighten any one's day with a smile or a giggle and how much I love to get those wonderful hugs he gives......

Did we make as much progress as I wanted this year..... probably not..... we are still in diapers and we aren't talking (but who said communication should be verbal) and all in all his growth as an individual and a person has been phenomenal and his changes as a big brother have made me so proud that I could never explain it...... (he accepted another young man without too much issue, shared his room, his clothes his toys and me......... this was not easy)..... but he loves and takes just as much care of Devon as he does the rest!

And today as I sit here and type ......I can't believe I managed to get Colin out the door with a huge cookie for his party there, and treats for his classmates (in both rooms)....... IT REALLY WAS A HUGE COOKIE!!!!!! That in the last week we have had three doctor's appointments, a wonderful mommy & daddy only weekend; Eric's 41st birthday (or his 14th at age 28 keep dreaming honey we are getting old!); I have a trustee / subdivision meeting tonight and tons of stuff to get finished for that; and ironed on all the daisy girl scout patches for Melea & Adrian.

But all I really wanted to do was hug and kiss and spend the day with my big guy! Tell him how much I love him and remember how small and fragile he was and marvel at how big and responsible he has become!

I love you Colin and Happy 8th Birthday~!

DEVON's Finalization Day IS HERE!!!!!

2008-11-05T09:27:00.010-06:00

Today we went to court and got to finalize Devon's adoption!!!!! He is ours forever!

Do I know if he understands? No, I really do not! I do know the following though!

all of the kids love "D"..... they fight to carry his book bag, or push his wheel chair when needed, the want to help him no matter what he does

all six of the kids stood up in court to say HE IS OUR BROTHER!!!!

that "D" was the most well behaved in a public place this morning than he has ever been with us since he came 6 months ago!

that he wanted hugs and kisses all day and even gave several!!! To all of us!

and WE ALL LOVE HIM....... no matter what

I wonder if anyone ever thought they would find him a a forever family........ well he has one now, no matter how much spaghetti has hit the ceiling, or OJ on the floor...... how many times he has pushed Jordan down and smacked Melea......

they love him, we love him and he is OUR SON and BROTHER TODAY!!!!

SURPRISE

2008-08-31T21:42:00.002-05:00

New member of the Grumpy Family coming around February 19 th 2009!

(course mom thinks it will get here in a snow storm on Valentine's Day)

"why that is so normal"

2008-08-04T20:58:00.004-05:00

You would think word like this would irk me! Enrage me!!!! or even just piss me off a little.

But most of the time I just make a sly smile and think..... what you don't know could fill a book about how normal all my kids are and how normal our lives really are!

I got that quote today when Adrian and I went into Walgreen's from a parent of one of Colin's classmates when she asked how Colin was doing with his new adopted brother (one of the reasons I haven't "officially posted in a while..... I can't share personal information about the "Big D" till he is ours forever! (I have been writing furiously.... how I am keeping sane)

I just decided today and everyday (I really know when a new parent of a special needs child makes it to the next phase in their own parental acceptance when words like this no longer cause tears or running to the bathroom or a nasty retort) when someone says something like this to me to be happy! I have a the best kept secrete in town!

I am so loved by all my kids that even when they all scream for twenty minutes straight....and it does happen more than I would like.... that I know I will get more hugs and kisses to make up for it later than they will likely ever get in there entire life time! AND THEY MEAN THEM.... they are not manipulative hugs..... OK maybe Adrian has a few of those..... every once an a while!

So today I smiled and I felt sorry for this mom who thinks that I must not have a "normal" life..... because of all my kids issues...... all I can say is she sure doesn't know what she is missing!

And I hope and wait for the day when all parents of Special kids can get to this point!

Our Mini Vaction shots......

2008-07-24T22:02:00.014-05:00

or how can you really pack that much fun into three days after driving 20 hours in a car with seven kids, a kid wrangler and your spouse! (or the short version.... how many states can each kid poop in one day!)

Here are a lot of photos from our really quick trip to Occoquan VA to celebrate Eric's Father's 70th Birthday with him at his surprise party! It was a whirlwind trip..... that included a broken van (after I had it tuned up and worked on before we left.....URGH!!!!!!!!!!!) A fun family evening of surprises, seven kids in two hotel rooms, Adrian puking in the pool and all over Kayla, The mandatory matching outfits (including mom, dad and the wrangler) a trip to a water park with Grammy and Grampy, a movie at the mall.....yeah space chimps!) and a ton of stops for mom to puke cause she managed to get the stomach flu !

Hope you enjoy them!

on the Potomac River!

Grandpa's Surprise Party!

The Splash Down Water Park with SEVEN KIDS!!!!!! Panic time for Mommy!

Inclusion at its best!!!!

2008-07-14T21:08:00.005-05:00

Tonight after taking Melea & Adrian to cheer leading! Gosh I love that it is just so much fun to sit and watch Mlea about 15 seconds to a minute behind everyone else and Adrian trying to keep her going!

I have this philosophy for both of them.....they don't have to be the best, but they have to try their best...... not a best night for Adrian!

But we are in the drive thru at McDonald's and a little boy starts yelling at the car! I am perplexed and surprised....cause I do not recognize him or his car...... BUT HE IS ADAMANT HE KNOWS ME!!!!

Eventually cause McDonald's is moving so slow (I swear ours has its own time zone after 5 pm) this little guy gets out of the car and comes over to talk to me!

He wants to know how Colin is...... and if he is in the car....... and what he is doing....... I finally realize that he is a little boy from Colin's kindergarten class! I am actually amazed at how interested he is in Colin (in a good way)!

He shows me the sign for friend and tells me how nice Colin is and how he hopes he is in Colin's room next year and so on...... till his mom screams at him (I would have too) and makes him go back to his car!

I guess the fact that Colin never tells me about anything that happens at school or that I never hear about anything at all, he is still making an impact!

And I go back to my original thoughts about inclusion..... it is not to help my kids at all! It seems to help others more!

So Colin's little friend you made one tired old mom's day today by banging on my car and wanting to see your friend!

Hear is hoping you still care about him in 10 to 15 years...... but right now you made me smile and go home and get a huge hug from him and I told him all about his friend who had wanted to know what he was up to. He spent the rest of the evening signing "friend" and "school" so I am excited that he understood!

Thanks!

Daddy....Thank you for the toilet seats!!!!!!!!!!

2008-07-10T21:52:00.002-05:00

Daddy - We just want to say thank you for the toilet seat! Or it is totally amazing what you did with PVC pipe and glue and a seat from Target!

Eric took the time this weekend to make five toilet surrounds for all of the bathrooms in the house and to install the new potty seats.....which I have to say are amazing!!!!) they flip down or up and you have a big kids and little kids seats, they are easy to clean and Colin no longer is petrified and gets on and off the toilet himself (all the time)

This is supposed to be the summer we manage to potty train Colin, Melea and start with Eliza & Big D! Well daddy made us these new seats cause we had a lot of little ones with fears of falling off and I saw some on EBay for almost $180 each.......

Well super dad says....we can do that...... so about 7 hours, and $80 of PVC/glue and elbow (and the requisite three trips to Lowe's) we have five potty chairs that are kid friendly and sturdy (also easily removable if you have a "huge butt" according to Adrian......I am sure she was taking about me!)

The kids love them and for the first time Colin is doing most of it himself...... if I could just get him to have some muscle control in his bladder...... then maybe we could beat this diaper thing!

Melea is doing great though!

Adrian turns Five today!

2008-07-04T13:27:00.002-05:00

at 2:22 pm on July 4th! She was a firecracker baby and still is! I can not believe five years have gone by so fast!

She is one amazing young girl!!!! Though she still makes me laugh cause she thinks everyone has the day off to celebrate her birthday and that all the fireworks and BBQ's are for her! (possible a little self centered or a big ego! I am not sure..... but hey she needs it)

She has recently gotten a lot of understanding about where children come from and the concept of "Tummy Mummy" versus "Adoptive Mommy" and is really starting to be able to answer peoples questions about her siblings.

I watched her (nicely by the way) correct an older woman at the hair dresser who asked her which were here "real" brothers or sisters! She said all of them! "They were all real"

She then proceeded to tell her that "real" was not a nice term nor was natural because Colin and Melea got here to earth the same way she did...... they just had tummy families who needed us to help them and be their family! She told this lady how much we love Miranda's tummy family and how awesome that they come to visit us! How much everyone needs a family!

And then she looked at her and asked her if she needed a family..... we had lots of room!

Adrian is completely perplexed at the idea that there are so many children in the world that do not have families! She wanted me to bring them all home!

I guess this openness of her heart and the fact that she wanted to share us all with another is a good thing, and I am glad she is telling people that she loves our rather large and rather unique family!

She sure is a wonderful person and she makes me smile so much....... that I realize maybe she is right...... at least one of those fire works is for her! (course it is likely one of the screamer /whinny kinds...... )

Happy Birthday Princess Grumpy! I love you so much! Even after 12+ hours of natural childbirth I rember how happy we were to meet you!

Little White lies I have told my children

2008-04-25T08:49:00.005-05:00

.............. in the last week..............

tick bites make you wake up happy in the morning (it worked I have had three days w/o a Princess Grumpy in the morning)

that it is fun to have your hair checked for ticks! Please check mine for me Melea!

yes I love "baby bear" from Sesame Street (OH HE WHINES MORE THAN ALL MY KIDS COMBINED!)

Boy I can't wait to clean the living room .... Lets go now!

does the "Piggy family live here" (I KNOW THEY DO!!!!!!!!!!.... why do I ask!)

Yes two red popsicle will make you turn "red" (SO I can give her a green one)

Please!.... help me with the laundry!.......... ( I love help, but it is so much quicker when they don't help me!)

I think I found the marshmallows, they fell out of your ears didn't they?

"woobly legs" make you stronger and faster

I will only be a minute on the computer

you look great in all thos "colors"

no the diaper does not make you "but" look fat! (melea is not showing me her bottom and then making herself fart)

everyone eats cookies for breakfast (when I realize that we are out of yogurt, and granola and grahm crackers)

no Adrian you do not look cute in that outfit! (It was a size three and she squeezed her size six x body into this because it was her favorite from last year, and yes she still does look cute, but NO NOT HAPPENING!)

OH! Can we please watch Elmo again!

I am starting to really like SPONGE BOB!

Sometimes the things my kids say or ask things that so amaze me, and many times I say some "really" unique things back. I feel bad lying to them, but sometimes I sure get a lot of sanity back when I do !

OK..... I do really love my friends

2008-04-24T09:01:00.005-05:00

but quit sending me email like this one...... http://kdka.com/local/School.Western.Beaver.2.706520.html .................... it is about a young man who chose to beat up a special needs student in PA while people (other children) stood by and video taped and then prevented the bus driver from stopping it!

Ironically his parents comments on the video stream were even more devastating!

I don't even let my typical four year old say thing like that "...I just had a bad day and didn't know what to do with my anger............" We would be in our room and skipping the thinking chair if this was her excuse for hitting her siblings!

!!!!This is no what I needed to see this morning!!!!

I realize, more than most people, that my children are still small and cute, but they will and are growing. The older they get the more likely people may have issues with them due to "whatever" the reason. that scapegoats for people's anger and frustration exist in every part of society and have since we crawled out of the mire ! BUT COME ON

Items like this really scare me, as a mom, as a human being and in general want to make me hide all my children away to prevent anyone from every hurting them.

So before I run over to school and bring them home. I am going to go drink a cup of really strong coffee, hug Jordan a lot (since he is the only one here at the moment) and try to remember that I now know some wonderful teenagers who love and respect all people. So I can then relax and let them stay at school and be happy kids.

I will keep repeating to myself that those were not the "normal" teenagers. The young girls who come and help me after school to play and engage the kids are! They are awesome and not unique to their generation, but vibrant and open to new experiences and fun to be around (even if they text faster than the speed of light)

I also know that in the 13 years I taught I had some really awesome adolescents in my life, who would have stepped in at this injustice (JM, SR, AH, WD, JC, spring to mind) no matter what it meant! These people have now become parents, and community members who would never teach something like this to your children.

I will cling to the hope that any of my six children would not have stood by and let that happen to any child, special needs or not, never bet on something like that or prevented an adult from helping this young man

And if they every did any of that stuff ON PURPOSE, they better not be expecting bail money from me or Eric!

And pray that the "enlightened American society" that we seem to profess a lot of ways to "solve" other peoples problems, might take a closer look at our own and work on solving some of ours.

For we can only be judged by how we treat our society's weakest members, then these young people did a disservice to their entire school, a generation and community that day. Because we have so far to go yet!

We have been so busy!!!!!!!!

2008-04-23T13:50:00.005-05:00

for a long while and so many things are happening and changing in our life!

The kids are growing and thriving, and everything is so "normal" around here that it can be amazing.

Yesterday I got two different emails in my inbox about "normal" that I thought I would share.

EMAIL #1

NORMAL SYNDROME
How to give parents a pre-natal diagnosis:

I'm very sorry, I have the results of the genetic tests and they have confirmed our suspicions that your fetus is what we call ... Normal.

Some people prefer the terms "Ordinarily Challenged" or "Normal Syndrome".

The syndrome can be easily identified by a complete lack of any interesting genetic characteristics. I know this will come as a shock to you, but you should be aware of what this is likely to mean.

If your fetus manages to survive the rest of the pregnancy and the birth, which is becoming more common these days, he or she will face some daunting challenges. Children who suffer from normalcy are prone to health and psychological problems.

It is almost certain that the growing child will suffer a seemingly endless stream of viruses. They will frequently damage themselves, and sometimes others, from their excessive energy. Their relentless demands will put a strain on your existing family and, of course, your relationship with your partner will suffer, and possibly end in a painful and acrimonious separation.

Any children you already have, even if they also suffer from normalcy, will be jealous of the newcomer and all their extra attention. Many siblings are liable to be psychologically scarred by the new arrival. I need hardly mention the financial consequences, although disastrous, they will be nothing compared to the emotional turmoil your life will suffer.

After a while, you may be lucky and find they can be kind and loving young children. They may find some temporary happiness in things such as music, dancing, food or playing with toys. But if they survive early childhood, a Normal child is almost certain to grow into a Normal adolescent.

Your years of sacrifice will be thrown back in your face as they become disobedient, wild and reckless. Unable to find happiness and contentment, they will treat you with contempt until they manage to leave home.

Even then the suffering will continue as they will often return to try and extract money.

They will blame you for their own faults and leave you bitter and twisted. They may well become criminals, over a quarter of Normals will have trouble with the law, many will spend time in jail.

Many will have problems with alcohol or drug abuse.

Normal marriages are often unhappy and short and over half end in divorce.

Even if they become successful this is likely to be because of the often observed tendency of Normals towards excessive greed.

The chances of them sharing their success with you are remote and they will tend to see you as an embarrassment.

Finally, Normal people are likely to die before their time. 23% will die of cancer, 33% of heart disease.

Hundreds every year in this country alone are so distressed by their condition that they take their own life.

I'm sorry to say that many will have had a lonely, painful and pointless existence. I am afraid that Normal Syndrome is a genetic condition that affects every cell of the body, and so is impossible to cure.

Termination is an option.

Shall I book an appointment?

Email #2

Some Mothers Get Babies With Something More...

My friend is expecting her first child. People keep asking what she wants. She smiles demurely, shakes her head and gives the answer mothers have given throughout the ages of time. She says it doesn't matter whether it's a boy or a girl. She just wants it to have ten fingers and ten toes. Of course, that's what she says. That's what mothers have always said.

Mothers lie.

Truth be told, every mother wants a whole lot more. Every mother wants a perfectly healthy baby with a round head, rosebud lips, button nose, beautiful eyes and satin skin.

Every mother wants a baby so gorgeous that people will pity the Gerber baby for being flat-out ugly.

Every mother wants a baby that will roll over, sit up and take those first steps right on schedule.

Every mother wants a baby that can see, hear, run, jump and fire neurons by the billions.

She wants a kid that can smack the ball out of the park and do toe points that are the envy of the entire ballet class.

Call it greed if you want, but we mothers want what we want.

Some mothers get babies with something more.

Some mothers get babies with conditions they can't pronounce, a spine that didn't fuse, a missing chromosome or a palette that didn't close.

Most of those mothers can remember the time, the place, the shoes they were wearing and the color of the walls in the small, suffocating room where the doctor uttered the words that took their breath away.

It felt like recess in the fourth grade when you didn't see the kick ball coming and it knocked the wind clean out of you.

Some mothers leave the hospital with a healthy bundle, then, months, even years later, take him in for a routine visit, or schedule her for a well check, and crash head first into a brick wall as they bear the brunt of devastating news.

It can't be possible!
That doesn't run in our family.
Can this really be happening in our lifetime?

I am a woman who watches the Olympics for the sheer thrill of seeing finely sculpted bodies. It's not a lust thing; it's a wondrous thing.

The athletes appear as specimens without flaw - rippling muscles with nary an ounce of flab or fat, virtual powerhouses of strength with lungs and limbs working in perfect harmony. Then the athlete walks over to a tote bag, rustles through the contents and pulls out an inhaler.

As I've told my own kids, be it on the way to physical therapy after a third knee surgery, or on a trip home from an echo cardiogram, there's no such thing as a perfect body. Everybody will bear something at some time or another.

Maybe the affliction will be apparent to curious eyes, or maybe it will be unseen, quietly treated with trips to the doctor, medication or surgery.

The health problems our children have experienced have been minimal and manageable, so I watch with keen interest and great admiration the mothers of children with serious disabilities, and wonder how they do it.

Frankly, sometimes you mothers scare me. How you lift that child in and out of a wheelchair 20 times a day.

How you monitor tests, track medications, regulate diet and serve as the gatekeeper to a hundred specialists yammering in your ear.

I wonder how you endure the and the platitudes, well-intentioned souls explaining how God is at work when you've occasionally questioned if God is on strike.

I even wonder how you endure schmaltzy pieces like this one saluting you, painting you as hero and saint, when you know you're ordinary. (OH DO I SO AGREE with this point HERE!)

You snap, you bark, you bite. You didn't volunteer for this. You didn't jump up and down in the motherhood line yelling, "Choose me, God! Choose me! I've got what it takes." (OK , I did have a choice so far but I am so tired of IEP's I could puke!)

You're a woman who doesn't have time to step back and put things in perspective, so, please, let me do it for you.

From where I sit, you're way ahead of the pack.

You've developed the strength of a draft horse while holding onto the delicacy of a daffodil.

You have a heart that melts like chocolate in a glove box in July, carefully counter-balanced against the stubbornness of an Ozark mule.

You can be warm and tender one minute, and when circumstances require intense and aggressive the next.

You are the mother, advocate and protector of a child with a disability.

You're a neighbor, a friend, a stranger I pass at the mall.

You're the woman I sit next to at church, my cousin and my sister-in-law. You're a woman who wanted ten fingers and ten toes, and got something more.

You're a wonder.
Lori Borgman is a newspaper columnist and author. You can find her at: _www.loriborgman.com_ (http://www.loriborgman.com)
_______________________________________________

It was ironic and sort of necessary for me to have received both of these emails in my "spam" filter yesterday! I needed a swift kick in the pants and reminder that our family is as "normal" as the next one!

Eric, Colin and I spent all weekend visiting and falling in love (OK only Eric and I and Colin tolerated him) a wonderful young man who I thought needed us (all of us). Come to find out I think we might need him a lot more!

We spent a lot of time discussing how this would affect our "normal" life, how it would impact our "normal" children, how " normal" this would look to the rest of the world. You would think by now I would not worry about things like this..... but I sometimes do.

I do live in my little world at the end of the lane, where I wake up everyday with more hugs, smiles than most people get in a whole week! There are tears, and screams too..... but we get to be excited about lots of things, little thing most people miss in life.

In the last week .... here are some of the things I have been so excited about....

Colin can finally put more toothpaste on the toothbrushes than on the counter
Melea wants to do her "helper" jobs and keeps asking me what she needs to do!
Miranda wore her glasses for 10 minutes straight
no one had diareahha or puking for 3 days straight in one week
that Eliza started playing in the toiulet
that Miranda reached her hands up at the same time all the other kids did this morning to want a hug from daddy
colin didn't kick the ENT resident
Jordan poured water all over the floor
Colin put on a pair of earphones and listed to a DVD for 5 minutes
Adrian made a hot dog by herself
Colin signed a three word sentance
My son can spit at me! (course now after working so hard to do this... we will work on where to spit)
that Eliza can't spit at me yet!
that I said something not directed toward Miranda and she signed that word anyways!
that when I went of the field trip with Melea's room, she didn't cry or cling when I had to leave early!
that daddy survived staying with two of the kids at the hair dressers!
that Melea told me she had a tick! (GOSH I HATE THESE!!!!!!!!!!!! but she told me)
Adrian did a 24 piece puzzle by herself!
Colin hasn't made "pooey" on the floor in two weeks
Melea only wants me to take her to the bathroom
Adrian told me she peed on the couch!
Melea told me Adrian peed pon the couch (thank heaven for carpet cleaner! & my little bissel)
Adrian woke up happy and Melea woke up grumpy for a chage of pace!

All of these things most people might not consider "normal" due to my children's ages.... but they are normal for us........... and after I get the kids on the bus, and get my coffee... I think they are a lot more normal than most!

So sunday evening after our flight home from Philly. After spending 2 1/2 hours with my son in one of his unique sleeping postions that would make a contortionsist squeal! I spent a lot of time thinking about "normal" . We landed, I needed coffee (surprise).... and we went on our way to

Ironically later that evening we were all sitting at our favorite Mexican restaurant All of us, our family and everything we do know is as normal as the next guy.

It works for us, the fact that others think it is noble and send me emails like #2 means they don't see us that way. Others send me ones like #1 to remind me that children with special needs are just as important as "normal ones" or that "normal ones" have no guarentee anyways!

I guess I just look at this as one day at a time with an eye on where I want to be in 10 or 20 years with my children. We just all keep going and making slow but steady progress! I will likely rejoice in tons of things my children do! (that most parents never give a second thought about) but I do know what works for us and will work on teaching all my kids to be accepting of what works for others is just as "normal" as our way!
___________________________________________________

All I know as that as my whole family sat on the patio at our favorite Mexican restaurant.

We watched a group of "goth" teenagers walk into the restaurant after they politely stared and then waved nicely at our "motley crew of little ones"

Ironically Adrian leans over to me and says "mommy, why does that girl (though it was a guy) have so many things sticking out of her nose and the funny hair?" Then Melea starts telling me "hair cut" and pointing to the young man.

It made me laugh to myself, and I tell them both.... "They like it that way, and it works for them and it is ok!

And I realize in my head that this is "normal" for them too!

(course there was an unsaid prayer to God at that moment for the continued fear of needles & pain,....and of course Adrian's insane need to wear as many colors as possible at one time! )

Happy Birthday Dear Jordan!

2008-03-17T09:44:00.005-05:00

One year ago Eric and I got the privelegde of giving birth to a wonderful and exciting young man! Today he turns one year old!

It has been one amazing year in our house with all the kids holding with him, kissing him and Melea recently teaching him how to spit!

You are one super little man and I have so loved getting to know you and your personality this year.

Sir Peas- A -Lot has managed to make all of smile, learn to eat a burrito and to say Eliza's name so well (I think she is his favorite.....or I am always scraming it or something) but you look so much like Adrian that sometimes it scares mommy!

Know young man how many people who love you! You will bring LUCK to all who know you!

Happy Birthday!

How insane am I......

2008-02-19T11:03:00.006-06:00

I decided that yesterday I would take all the kids to Bounce -U for open bounce and then to the movies.....BY MYSELF!!!!!!!!!!!!

This was actually the first time I managed to get all of them in the car in less than 15 minutes....Colin even Carried Miranda, and Adrian brought Jordan! They wanted to go somewhere! Anywhere! They were bored too!

The kids really love to bounce and I doubted we would all have survived if we had stayed home again (no school due to president's day!) ....and we all know my major parental desire is that school never be closed to celebrate anything ....accept maybe me winning the lottery.

So I decided to take them to BOUNCE-U and run off some of that energy that was so apparent and pent up due to the unseasonably cold weather lately. They had a blast!! Of course it is so different going to an open bounce instead of a birthday..... the kids actually have to wait in line.....and the best thing was NO one was givining Colin or Melea that much of a break!

Sounds weird....but I loved it when the kid yelled at Colin when he cut in line!

NO BREAKS!!!!!!! Ok at first I was paniced and I kept trying to get him to listen....but he didn't need me telling him....that he ignored like most things I tell him....but these little and big kids made a bigger dent (figuratively and litterally) than I ever could!

We actually had a blast and Miranda and Jordan sat in their strollers and had a blast listening to the music and watching all the kids!

I probably should have stopped there! But NO! I had to chance it..... the kids still wanted to see a movie and it was 3:30.

So insane mommy said...lets chance it!

Actually we made it through getting the tickets, changing all the diapers, buying the food, and getting a seat without a horrible issue (OK one family moved....but who wouldn't when a mom with 6 kids (three in strollers) sits in front of you.

First mistake was....I forgot the straws.....but Adrian ran back to get them (and I watched her...but don't tell her). I forgot to pack the milk for Jordan (URGH!!!!!!!!!) and I though I had enough cherrios for Eliza....but I was wrong!

Colin. Melea and Adrian were awesome! They sat in their seats (though Adrian & Melea got up and danced several times) they ate their food and shared the candy and were awesome....accept one time I had to take Eliza & Jordan behind the barrier.....Eliza was so bad......and Colin got up and brought me Miranda....who then got mad because she was loving the music and sound / lights!

It actually was better than our last trip to the movies....but I wish I had know what was up with Eliza! Nothing would satisfy here! And the movie...Alvin & the Chipmunks..... was actually not the worst 97 minutes of my life....I even wanted to get her to calm down so I could get back and watch it! (I am thinking it is like Sponge Bob....it grew / grows on me)

Course when I was getting them ready for bed. I think I figured out what was up with Eliza..... she had a huge "runny green pooey"! This type always makes her "grumpy" !

All in all we survived another "day off" and I can only look foward to spring break with all the joy and anticipation of a root canal!

Great Valentines Day for us!

2008-02-15T09:10:00.004-06:00

We had a wonderful valentine's day at our household. Colin and Melea made Eric and I such cute gifts at school and real cards. Colin was so excited to give me mine!

They all seemed to love going through their Valentine bags and eating all the candy (of course), but it was just so much fun to see the light in their eyes.

I took Melea, Adrian and Mirnada to the mall for a girls night out...... and to get our birthday photos done for Melea and Miranda.

We actually had an amazing night .....this would be after changing outfits three times on Melea and twice on Miranda..... not mentioning about how non cooperative they were at wanting to get their photos done.

But we played in the mall play area, drank a cup of expensive coffee from starbucks and three glasses of milk and ate some cookies, then went to build a bear and bought some accessories for our bears and monkey!

Actually I was surprised....but Melea wanted to buy the wheel chair....she kept asking me about Nana. I was really taken aback because it has been over a year since Nana passed away and I didn't think she would remember her....let alone that she had a wheel chair..... but she was adamament her monkey needed a chair like Nana. SO I let her pick that one....and of course she also got another purse. Adrian picked out a Mulan dress and Miranda bought a pair of shoes and sequin purse. I am absolutely positive their bears have more purses than I do!

We then ate dinner at the food court! The girls had chicken strips and tots from Sonic and I ate a baked potato. I really do love food courts so we can all get something we like to eat. Course I am sure it will be more fun when they can go get their own food!

However it always seems to take us about 45 to 60 minutes to eat..... no matter how much of a hurry we are in. So in this time I did a lot of people / child watching.

I sat there again and realized how lucky my four little special ones are (mostly). They will always wear their disability in a way that most "resonable" people will recognize it and make accomadations.

I saw a mom fighting with her little guy for 10 minutes trying to get him to go ....he was fighting.... I heard a few people make a lot of ugly comments about what a "bad" parent she must be..... I on the other hand saw exasperation from her and saw the lack of eye contact, lack of speech (accept for a few not so nice word he repeated over and over).

As a parent of several disabled children who attend resource rooms...I have seen a lot of different disabilites that have no "immediate visual component" that is easily identifiable..... so I understood why this little guy was throwing a fit, I understood why mom couldn't give in, and I know she was not a "bad parent" just someone in the wrong place with a child with severe sensory issues and was probably autisitc among other issues...... but the rest of the crowd did not!

I realized at that moment how lucky all my kids are. Colin, Melea, Eliza and Miranda are easily identifiable as disabled! Allowances are made and there are certain expectations they have to live with because of this..... but in all ways this is somewhat easier than many of the other typical disabilities.

So I guess I have another reason to be thankful....besides a wonderful night with the girls (Eliza had a cold....and I am not that insane to take four tot he mall for photos by myself)..... persepective and understanding of other parents with "special" children.

So I may have not spent is with my "spouse" he sure gave me a wonderful gift though..... a night with the girls by taking care of the boys and the sick one (though..... I ded arrage for dinner and a babysitter to help him)

Hope you all had a great time with your loved ones too!

Happy Birthday Melea!

2008-02-13T11:39:00.009-06:00

Melea is turning six today! It is so amazing to me to have lived with her these last "almost six years". She has changed and grown so much that she is amazing me each and every day!

Melea is currently talking in 3-5 word sentances consistently....at least for Eric an I on a regular basis. She can sign and say almost all the words she wants, though most days it is a challenge to get her to do it.

Her favorite question is still "whatzat mami" when she wants me to tell her some word or thing.... but ironically she knows the word....I think she just loves the sound of the phrase.

One of her favorite things in the world at this time is "Santa" and she has to come in to my office and kiss the santa pictures each day and tell him how good she is! (though I also think mom should get to weigh in on this....cause she is not always as well behaved as she thinks)

Melea loves to go to school and usually joyously shouts when she sees the school bus coming, and then you have to hold her back while we are waiting for it to stop. She is just so excited about going to school, seeing her favorite teacher "silly cochran" and doing the months of the year dance for her.

Melea so fiercely loves being a big sister that it is phenomenal to see her with her little siblings. She constantly wants to do what the "big" girls are at school and on TV that mom is actually starting to get a little scared of the emerging personality (though I am also proud and awestruck at the same time)

So Melea....today I remeber the day when Lori from Gladney called to tell me there was a beautiful little baby with ds that they had come into care unexpectedly., and were Eric and Colin and I interested in a new sibling and child? I was so excited I forgot to ask if you were a boy or girl or how old you were or anything.....all I remeber was how happy that thought made me and how long those next 6 weeks were till we could go get you!

I actually had to call back to get her to give me the information about you and how you were doing!

Happy Birthday Melea and I hope that you enjoy your trip for pizza to night and that we get spend them together each year forever! (but I know soon you will want your friends and not old daddy and me....but here is hoping!)

Kids Drawings are so insiteful!

2008-02-12T13:26:00.000-06:00

Melea is now drawing legs and arms and hair on her "little" people drawings. I just love looking at my children's art work....even if most end up in the file 13 basket (trash).

But I was really so excited to get this little copy from her teacher of her dry erase board from school.

That is an "awesome" M. She can actually write all the letters in her name....just not at the same time! Proof was when we were writing her valentines on Sunday! I wrote her name out and asked her to write it on her valentines.....she proceeded to write one letter on each valentine..... she got all the letter correct, just not on the same card! So I hope someone realizes that she is both "E" and "L" and "A" and "M".

Though ironically she recognizes any letter I give her (even if she feins stupidity for her teachers).

But it was so exciting to see her little "spider" person and though it has no shoes (Like Colin's) it is awfully cute and memorable!

Tommorrow my little pear will turn six and I can't wait to see how much she likes her new Dora dress!

Ironic as this sounds.......

2008-02-08T16:54:00.001-06:00

it was really a boring week! After Miranda started school....and registering Adrian for KGTN and voting on Tuesday....and finishing our taxes (still got to do the trust for the kids though)......not much else happened here.

Eric was at a conference in FLA all week and I had the kids to myself.... so you can imagine the nulear bomb that went off in my house in my house, but it was absolutely boring.

I worked on making the birthday invitations to Melea, Miranda and Jordan's combined birthday, exercised a whole lot (about 10 miles walking / jogging this week) and for the first time in 7 1/2 years ..........

I HAD NO EARLY INTERVENTION or THERAPY VISITS OR DR. APPOINTMENTS or anything!

it was amazing! (and very quiet.... though Adrian really makes up for it when she gets home each day)

I also did a lot of laundry and thought about getting ready to switch out the spring clothes....but the fact I hate ythat and the 12 degree forcast for saturday made me wait for another week!

So this weekend, is finishing invitations, getting all the valentines signed by the kids.... and picking out what treats Mela will take to school for her birthday next week.

Miranda was off with her sisters

2008-02-04T11:04:00.000-06:00

to school this morning! I swear she was all smiles and so excited that she couldn't quit squealing and making happy noises when the bus came!

I just couldn't get the five in one shot! One of them was always moving out of frame!

It was just amazing to see her about as big as her backpack! But I swear she could have fit in it Friday, but today she looks just a little bigger! I am so proud of our little girl!

What a big step for such a beautiful princess!

QUIZ..... Jordan or Adrian.......

2008-02-03T19:07:00.000-06:00

After going through the older photos for Miranda's birthday and talking to Daddy yesterday (he was wondering if Adrian was ever as chubby as Jordan) I was struck by the similairities that everyone mentions!

All these photos are either Jordan or Adrian at about the same age. Which is Princess Grumpy and which is Sir Peas-a-lot?

a)

b)

SO the question is....... is it just superficial (on the outside) or will my Peas-a- lot turn in to a Grumpy soon!

Well..... I thought I would list the steps in the "potty training guide" for/by my kids

2008-02-03T17:04:00.000-06:00

I have five little ones in diapers or pull ups and a little princess who thinks should be able to wear a pull up cause Colin & Melea are older.... so there is way to much talk about urination and defication in our house so I will let you in on the steps and where each one is to date!

1) We figure out we don't like having our diaper changed! But we also don't like being messy either! (Miranda is here..... but she is well on her way to step 2)

2) We learn to take off our own clothes and start exploring what is on our bottom and have a lot of fun making mom put our clothes back on all the time (Jordan is here...... just today I have put his pants back on 11 times) as well as get really interested at putting stuff in the potty and playing in the water seems to happen here!

3) We now consistently take off all of our clothes and bottom covering and like running around butt naked and peeing on anything while mom chases us! As well as requiring me to be ever vigellent at locating the lost diaper(s) and missing clothes...... (Eliza is here)

This is one of my least favorite stages.... only trumped by the poop scooting & painting stage. It is also characterized by putting diapers in weird spots or making hats from them! Eliza is an actual master of gettin her diaper off through her leg or some other contortion I have yet seen her physically do.... but the clothes sometime stay on (or she puts them back on!)

Most of my children.... when in stage three........ get to wear pj's to nap in (cause it saves time and carpet cleaner). I just have to put it on backwards so they can't get out. This is the ironic thing from all that OT practice and learning to zip up your own coat.... you also learn to take of your clothes! Yeah (with a sarcastic note!) The backward PJ thing is after we have mastered safety pins, and safety pins through the zipper. If they are as good as colin was... eventually we have even had to safety pin the backwards pj mode.

4) The poop sco0ting and painting stage. Enough said.... no one is here now! Thank theLord! but believe it or not this was Adrians favorite stage! SHe stayed in it from 13 months till she was potty trained fully at about 27 months!

5) They I have to point to my body parts and ask you what they are called tell you what they do phase......

I pretty much thank heaven that Colin doen't talk cause he runs around signing penis and poop a lot and I am happy yhta most people do not know sign language well enough to interpret this.......

however this is a major break through cause at least he knows he poops & pees.... I think he was so confused for a few years about where it came frome.... he would always look at me puzzled and put his pout to the side and shrug his shoulders. (Colin is sort of here..... but at least he now keeps his diaper on at night! So I hope no more stage 4 cause he has outgrown most of the zipper one piece pj's and is so limber I have actually watched him wriggle out of them

6) We are trying to be potty trained and go sometimes ....WHEN WE FEEL LIKE IT!!! but other times we just fill up our pull up and say we do not want to be changed and protest at the top of our lungs if mommy makes us change our pants! (Melea is here)

Fun thing about this stage..... is there seems to be no rhyme or reason about when she wants to use the potty...... it is her idea. I am looking foward to summer when she can just wear her underware & swim suit outside to play and then if she "misses" she gets an immediate consequence that we can't do in the house.....

Ok really this mom is just dreaming for summer with diaper / swimsuit days and 1/2 the laundry I have in the winter!

7) The I wear underware inside my pullup so I know when I pee and mess up. (Melea is here on the weekends and after school) It really makes her remeber.... so I know when we can do this almost all day without the pull up .....she will be finished up soon

8) In the stage where we yell at the top of lungs in the mall...."MOM why don't you just pee in your diaper!" When I have just told Eric I need to find a bathroom NOW, and your daughter thinks a sanitary napkin is a grown up diaper. (ADRIAN IS HERE....again there are days I am glad Colin only signs and Melea doesn't always speak clearly!)

9) We actually wear underware and are required to make 8 trips to the bathroom when we are out for 2 hours..... just so we can visit the toilet, say hi, and make sure we know where it is in case we need it (Adrian also here!)

10) The day I am most looking foward to....... not carrying a diaper bag (OK mine is a huge back back) anymore.... but a real small and sleak purse! I am thinking 2015 to 2018 as a possibility! With my luck backpacks will be the rage then!

We got to celebrate at our Favorite Mexican place

2008-02-02T22:41:00.000-06:00

Miranda's Birthday today!!!!!

After digging out of the almost 10+ inches of snow; finding the van and getting all the children dressed and in the van..... we went to our favorite place..... to celebrate. I felt bad cause we didn't go yesterday, but the upper road to our house and the driveway didn't even get plowed till 4 pm friday.... and I wasn't in the mood to get us all killed for mexican food (though ADRIAN sure was)

The let Miranda wear the red velvet hat and gave ehr her ice cream and sang to her...... she hated the hate, but giggled the whole time they were singing!

And of course she loved the ice cream! SO did the rest of the children! Except for some reason Eliza would only eat it if I feed it to her (not daddy and she would not feed herself the ice cream) and Jordan eats ice cream like "DATA" from TNG in the one where he tastes it and it is revolting! Then asks for more.....he makes these amazing little cute funny, but goofy faces!

After that....we of course had to make a trip to walmart.... to get those last little school supplies, diapers, and new shoes, socks, and a new pair of laces for her old pair of shoes!

I actually managed a cart and COlin, Melea, Adrian and Miranda by my self...... three walkers and Miranda in the cart! Colin was the best listener and was so well behaved....Melea on the other hand ended up in the cart toward the end cause she kept wandering away in the shoe aisle .....side note also made I would not buy her or Miranda another set of "Dora" shoes..... OK really made I wouldn't buy them for her!

We had a great afternoon and it was so nice after being snowed in for almost 48 hours!

However the best surprise was getting home and finding a birthday package for Miranda from her birth grandparents! She and the rest of the kids were so anxious and Miranda has finally learned to love opening presents! I think she still likes that part better than finding out what is on the inside!

My littlest Princess is THREE TODAY!!!!

2008-02-01T10:41:00.000-06:00

Three years ago today, a beautiful and precious angel feel to earth into the arms of a wonderful and loving couple. Our little girl was a complete surprise to this couple and for their own personal reasons they went in search of a family to raise her because they felt they would not be able to.

With the greatest love and joy Eric and I were accepted to be this beautiful angel's parents. We named her Miranda Olivia! with in an hour of learning about her! After four long weeks and a few days she was placed into our family's open Arms on March 4th 2005 throiugh the help of the Gladeny Center for Adoption.

So today we celebrate her third year on this planet today! I thought I woul lookback and remember how little she was and how far my beautiul "Manda's " has come!

We have been through one open heart surgery for her AV canal defect at 10 months; lots of prayers and worried nights; almost 450 hours of early intervention therapy, tons of prescription formula and hours fighting to make her eat and gain weight! 6 ISFP's; a developmental evaluation; her first IEP and conference, 3 different hospitalizations for pneumonia ( one was eleven days); 2 cardiac cathederizations, 3 sets of ear tubes; an adenoidectomy, a overnight sleep study (did not involve sleeping on her part); 2 MRI's, a cat scan; an EEG; a ton of xrays, lots of bloodwork, two ambulance rides, oxygen at home, monitors and sleepless nights listening for them to go off, and lots and lots of head colds, severalear infections , permanent excema, nystagmus that could make you dizzy if you watch it, a TIA and most likely a seizure disorder too! and of course gallons and gallons of snot!

BUT WE WOULD NEVER TRADE A MINUTE OF THAT FOR ANYTHING! SHe is happy and thriving and and utterly an amazing little girl! SHe laughs she makes her sounds for animals, she is starting to sign more words and becoming her own little person whose favorite word for her mom is "NO" or "NO WAY".

She loves to eat and to play and to be held and to be tickled and sung to. SHe always points to her swing outside and wants to be in it with the "big" kids! She is growing and changing so rapidly that Eric and I are anxious and excited to see where she will go from here and is in such a big way going to benefit from starting school next monday that even I can't imagine what the next year will bring for us all accept the joy of being part of it with her!

So Enjoy the photos of my littlest princess in the Grumpy Family! and see how she has changed....... and we have so much planned! I know we will be sharing with you!

So happy Birthday my dear Miranda! And remember

we all love you! Especially all your sisters!

OK MOM put her foot down......

2008-01-31T15:02:00.000-06:00

right after Daddy told me to quit crying and remeber I know the law and all that crap!

So Miranda is going to our little school on Monday, she will be riding the bus with her sisters, and they will service her as decided upon and written in first IEP..... IT IS THEIR PROBLEM not ours, we never lied and said she could walk...... they new this.... tough "CRAP!" and a few other expletives and a lot of tears later.

So (I would love to say I had a poliete conversation .... but I really doubt I will ever have a poliet conversation about this subject with anyone)..... but Miranda will be going, it is their reaponsibility to move and accomadate her needs, and I am sorry so many people will be inconvienced..... but I am only a mom to three of them and I will deal with it with Eliza and it is the schools fault for poor planning!

SO I WILL POST photos to show her first day on Monday and don't think.... I will just send the little one on the bus and run away to the spa..... (OK I WISH!) but I will probably follow the bus and see her get off at school and I will be following up and making sure they have done what they have said they will an monitor it till it is completed!

Cause..... I gues you learn to be a bitch (or in my case a bigger one than I was) when you have a child with special needs and issues!

Miranda isn't going to OUR school now.....

2008-01-30T19:27:00.000-06:00

Ironically a teacher said to me yesterday they were so happy that Eric and I were so proacitive at dealing wiht a problem with Colin and his inclusionary classroom. She felt and has had a lot of parents say "if it is happening at school, it is your problem....not ours".

Well today I am so starting to understand why any parent would say that! We are tired of fighting for our children and their rights by the time they get to 1st or 2nd or 4 th grade.... that we don't care, we don't want to participate by then WE ARE EXHAUSTED OF THIS UPHILL BATTLE!!

Many times I am beginning to think the school people are counting on this fact more than they will ever let on it makes the education job so much simplier.

I find it ironic that all the books and articles and everything....say "fight for inclusion, get all the early therapy and other services for your child to ensure their best potential outcome.

And we parents start this battle....from the day we find out about their disability. For some this our little one's the original birth day. For other parents this is somewhere along the developmental path when they were told their precious little bundle has deviated from the "normal".

NO ONE wants to ever hear this!!!.... no one wants to visit a therapy room or a focus room or whatever "awesome, non threatening name" an educator decides to give it...... and think is this really where my child belongs!

We are still in some denial! We always will see the child we thought they were suppossed to be! WE DO NOT WANT TO GO TO IEP MEETINGS, or make other plans or have extra time taken away from our jobs and our lives with our family to deal with this!

Even I ..... I look at my beautiful children and wonder what they would be like if they were "normal", but as an adoptive parent I also know that Eric and I would have none of my four precious angels if they had the regular 46 chromosomes. So this thought is really a slippery sword for me!

I still look for the things that would classify them as "normal", for a glimpse or a way they turn their head, something that does make them the same as their peers.

Then there are days I sometimes relish in the fact that people are so ignorant and say "hey she only looks like she has a little down syndrome" or "it has to be a mild case she looks so smart" or the all time favorite is " what oriental country is he from?"

Why does this make me secretely happy....BECAUSE for one brief moment that person did not see the "disability" untill it was pointed out and they just saw a beautiful child. MY BEAUTIFUL CHILD!

AND I AM NOT STUPID or DELLUSIONAL!

This is just human nature to want what is best for our children and we are told that different is bad! Look at our media, our beauty icons, our sports hearos, That is what we tell everyone they should aspire to be! Never once have I heard someone say.... I want my child to grow up and be confined to a wheel chair or to never speak... that sounds like a fun idea.

Several times I have heard my child describe geneticaly as a mistake! As non religious as I am I still feel that GOD (or the universeor whatever) doesn't make mistakes... maybe a "chaos" theory might be a better explanation for Colin somedays!

"I liken " (my tenessee aceent comin' back) it to the little creature SCRAT from ICE AGE with the nut, all he wants is to do something so simple... to crack it and eat it. But he ends up causing a huge catastropic event!

I am starting to feel I am chasing this LRE, inclusion, and and all that stuff and I will never get it for them and trying to get it for them will likely kill me in the process! (and sometimes I am starting to think that is the plan all along)

ALL I want for all my children is to go to school and learn to the best they can.... whatever this is....cause I don't even know their limits (and I am absolutely certain that a person who has spent only 75 minutes once with them certainly does not) but Eric and I certainly have a better clue. We will be here for them the day they are no longer a "problem" for the school system..... and they fall off that cliff.... so believe me I am thinking LONG LONG LONG TERM!

I am so tired of being presented with options to have them determine that "oh.... that won't work now."

I find it ironic that people have know all of Miranda's issues (OK most of her issues since SEPT).

I find it ironic that all the books and articles and everything....say "fight for inclusion, get all the early therapy and other services for your child to ensure their best potential outcome.

All of a sudden the fact she isn't walking is a problem since all the class rooms are in the basement! Not like they weren't there in sept or December or when we had her IEP on JAN 18th. And how about every single time I have had to drag the stroller up and down the steps at school for the last three years that someone would have noticed she wasn't walking!

I DID!

Oh.... they have options.... but I don't like any of them.... and I laugh at most.... Like I want someone here in my house again! I AM TIRED OF EARLY INTERVENTION! I AM TIRED OF NOT BEING ABLE TO DO ANYTHING CAUSE I AM CONSTANTLY WAITING ON SOMEONE TO COME OR TO SHOW UP OR wondering where they are or having people call and change it at the last minute.

I have been in this program every day for the last 7 1/2 years with one child or another..... I AM OVER IT! AND IT DOESNOT GIVE HER WHAT SHE NEEDS!!!! 3 hours each day of "typical classroom stimulation"

Am I really thinking this is just their way to force a therapy room on us..... Probably!

So no she isn't going to school and I am not going to take itinerant services either! That is not what her IEP states and I will protest any change with the highest voice I can!

They offered to do it just till spring break.....or preferably the end of the year. Then they would move classrooms around then. Great my kid gets to cause how many kids and their families an inconvenience.... great makes me feel so good~ I know a new classroom change like that would "stress my typical child and freak out Eliza.... so why are others going to be hurt because of inadequate "reactive" planning.

Why are they so reactive and not proactive when it comes to planning.

URGH!!!!!!!!!!! I am so irritated that all I want to do is scream!!!!!!! Why is this the actual hardest transition I have done!!!!!

Miranda has her EEG or a soap opera coma......

2008-01-25T16:52:00.000-06:00

I am so sorry iI forgot my camera this morning! Cause the photos would have been precious!

Basically today started with..... it was the normal rush to get the kids up, and started for school, but add into the mix get Miranda dressed and ready for a ton of tests today and out the door by 7 am! (NOTE I had to keep her awake past midnight and wake her up at 4 am and then try to keep her up, have clean hair and skin with no lotion on them so all the pads and leads will stick......)

At least the roads were not crowded nor was it snowing! Huge plus in our favor!

We make it on time and get checked into the hospital. Eric went with her last time she had an EEG so I am sort of new with this one..... but I know she gets a tone of "goopy" leads stuck to her head and then we get to sit for about 45 minutes and then do some other tests with them on! (Really looking forward to this!!! LOL)

It all starts with them measuring Miranda's head and making a ton of "dots" and marks on it. Needless to say she is not please when Colin plays connect the dots on her, this stranger is getting the evil eye and she starts to squirm and wriggle!!!

I love that I get to hold her and I end up having to sing.... constantly for almost 40 minutes to keep her attention so they can proceed to scrub these marks and then apply leads. I think Miranda is in on the plot cause for each one she gets secure, Miranda seems to pull another one off!

Finally we get them all on and I have her pinned against me and have been singing the "Silly Pizza", "Wheels on the Bus", and the "5 little ducks "for so long all I want is a glass of water! and to sit down and when I am blinking she goes after them again! SO they decide to wrap her head up.

Miranda looks like a bad soap opera medical scene! For a moment I am convinced she is Erica Kane or Greenelee Smythe with amnesia and will likely be a coma or some other hospital peril in a few " soap opera minutes". But hey They just want her to drift off into a nice sleep so they can proceed to measure her brain wave activity for a 30 minutes or so......

HA HA HA HA HA!!!! No they have given my little girl 40 wires, lots of gauze and fun sticky paste and they want her to sleep.... and people laugh when I say I could win the lottery.... I am seeing sleep as harder than winning the powerball right now!

Course mom is exhausted from all the sleep I didn't get while trying to keep her up! So I could do with a 30 minute catnap!

But our beautiful Miranda never dose oblige them....she is way to interested in pulling on her "mummy" hat and trying to get the leads off.

I am probably one of the first parents they have ever had that hopes they find something wrong, so we can use it to get a better school placement or aide if she has a seizure issue.... we shall see when the results come in!

After that we went to the store and had lunch, and bought our clothes and stuff for school!

Can't wait she goes on the fourth! She will be such a big girl then! And I am so tired of people in my house four or 5 days a week a and never being able to plan stuff or do anything cause every one's schedule is so much more important than mine!

I told school I want her with her sisters at our local school.... we shall see how that goes!

But at least she and I had a fun day! and we are closer to becoming independent!

Welll..... I visited the intensive therapy room

2008-01-24T15:29:00.000-06:00

I determined the following things that day!

1) nobody goes into the labor / delivery room hoping their child gets assigned to the "intensive therapy room" for preschool....so likely nobody is ever pleased with this situation

2) I realized that had a wonderful and caring staff of paraprofessionals and a nice teacher

3) my van fits through the Starbucks drive thru (which is a big plus cause we don't fit through most....AND IT IS A BLOCK AWAY!)

4) That the room is 35 minutes one way from my house on a good traffic day (is there really such a thing)

5) That an intensive therapy program (very misleading name....cause it is actually the same number of minutes in both places) is probably what Miranda needs right now

6) That I really want her in a class with her peers....I am just not sure what her peers are

7) That the easier they try to make things for parents to understand....... the harder it really is

8) That I am not a really nice person......because all I care about is my kid, and my family and I do not want to think about anyone else!

9) That just because Miranda is not genetically mine that I still feel like I caused this somehow (something some pointed out I shouldn't feel cause she wasn't my biological daughter)

10) That I am not closer to deciding what she needs today than last week! I am just sick of reactive versus proactive planning!

URGH~!

The veggie's were fun....but

2008-01-22T17:04:00.000-06:00

getting there to enjoy the movie was a huge .... but very ironically funny.... moment in the whole process!!!

Our poor little helper..... some days I think no one needs volunteer hours this bad!! Here is sort of how going to the mall . movie went!

1) We finally corral all six of the kids, get winter coats & gloves on cause of the ice cold wind chill then get them in the car...... course two manage to poop after they have been buckled in so we have to start over!

2) We drive to the Mall...about 30 minutes away and of course no handicapped parking available anywhere near the movie entrance or any entrance I can see. I actually hate to use the handicapped parking, but there are very few places you can actually fit a 15 passenger GMC van in. Course I finally manage to find a spot and squeeze the van in, but opening the side doors is next to impossible!

3) I make the kids leave the dolls int he car (thank heavens)! Courtney and I manage to squeeze out the wagons and the strollers and "pen the kids into between the cars while we unload, and make it into the van having to stop and pick up the wagon 4 times to go over a speed bump, a curb , and 2 medians. BUT WE MAKE IT! WE ARE IN THE DOOR! WE are halfway to our quest of seeing the movie.

4) We go upstairs to get the tickets in the elevator. I swear all malls have the slowest elevators on the planet! During this time Adrian is pointing out how many times she could have been up and down on the escalator to the top while we are waiting. (Scariest thing is she was right....almost 15 times could she have gone up and down while we waited for that elevator seemed an accurate estimate)

5) We wait in line meet a few really nice people who comment on how well behaved the children are (course they are at this moment.... they all missed the arbitrarily throw your coat off and onto the floor a few moments ago that four of the six participated in!) and they know to get to the movie they have to not drive me nuts! We get four children's & two adults tickets and then head back to the elevator to go to the food court! Another long wait for the elevator!

6) It is 1:45 pm.... and the food court is PACKED all the normal lines where the children would are about 40 minutes long (at least 20+ people / orders) so we go for the Japanese grill. I go to get in line and take Adrian and Melea with me.... While Courtney is getting the rest situated at the table.

Most of the way there I am arguing with Adrian who is furious there are no little tables..... (this mall has children's tables and she remembers that as well as that they have a two story merry go round) and of course they are all taken! Somehow I am supposed to kick out the other people and there kids to make Adrian happy. NOT This becomes a most interesting discussion with Princess Grumpy and why we wait. Now we have been waiting to order for almost 8 minutes, we are one person away when.........drumroll................MELEAS SAYS "I have to pee!"!

This is great.... cause we are potty training, but of course requires us to leave the line and go to the bathroom! Then we all love to play in the " self flushing bathrooms and the sensor operated toilets & sinks.

We finally get back in line and wait about 10 more minutes to get tot he front, mean while Melea has been coning the "Sample Guy" to keep getting little samples of the chicken ....cause she is so hungry..... that after we finally get our food and we sit down and divvy up the two dinners for five of the six kids....Colin eats noodles and shares it with mom and some of it with Melea!.

Melea keeps signing all done and only wants her water. I am concerned for a few moments till she empties her pockets. I then realize that Melea has 11 tooth picks in her pocket.... so she probably really is full from the samples.

7) We finish lunch, and head off to the "up and down" (merry go round for the rest of the world! My favorite part of the trip tot he mall is that the "Up and down" is next to Starbucks!!! Boy do I deserve one, and I need to get Courtney something... she is starting to look worn out! (My six kids can do that to ya!) Then I see how long the line is!!!!!!!! Why oh why did I promise we would go!

8) We manage to buy tokens, wait in line.... my tights have suddenly started to creep down as we are waiting! Eventually we get all the kids on the ride, everybody on an animal..... Colin is no longer freaked out, but he still only chooses animals that do not go up and down! BUT THIS IS A HUGE IMPROVEMENT! But somehow I get so we are all close to each other, get the tokens to the nice lady. As the "up and down" starts I swear the centrifugal force somehow manages to cause my tights to fall further

By the end of the ride my tights are all the way down to the tops of my boots (I guess the diet & exercise program is helping.... just didn't need to find that out NOW!) I am so thankful I have an ankle length skirt on..... BUT it is making holding Jordan and Miranda next to impossible to get back to the strollers (AND I SWEAR WE STOPPED AS FAR AS HUMANLY POSSIBLE FROM THEM!!)

We finally get to the strollers and we start walking to the elevator. I am panicked that everyone can see my tights have fallen.... there is no way to graciously or even ungraciously pull them up.... I am hoping I can at least do it in the elevator before the fall farther and I actually trip over them ! Course now there are two other moms with strollers waiting to get on! SO I just keep praying I won't trip and that we make it to the theater!

9) We go into the huge metro plex..... all the children need to be changes, tights still around my knees and I am trying to keep them from falling further...... I make it to the bathroom and we fix mine and of course Adrian needs to pee so she gets out of line for the family changing room (only place I can whip through 5 diapers and etc in 5 minutes) so We have to start that wait back over .....not everyone is as quick as me at doing this! So we wait 10 more minutes (8 minutes till movie should start) before we can enter.......

Today I take the same pattern we always do...... I ask who needs to go to bathroom .... I never actually expect a response and Courtney is setting up the massive but quick changing line...... and I turn around at Adrian's beckoning.... and there is Colin sitting on the potty! I am astounded. Then Melea and Eliza decide it is time to do the same! OK slightly over joyed......

We do some quick diaper changing after that and then off to sit in the theater!

10) Courtney and I manage to get all the kids and strollers, and wagons into the theater. We get the seats and then I take Melea and Adrian to get popcorn (I should have just stopped while I was ahead....but no I am really craving popcorn and Colin has been signing it on and off since we passed it!)

We get to wait in line again..... I am so tired of lines by this point, we make it up to the front, we order the popcorn, drinks and I get everything set to go.....Melea is bouncing off the wall with her bag and soda! She is so excited and she is helping carry it..... then the absolute worst thing that can happen at this moment does.... the FIRE ALARM GOES OFF with instructions to evacuate. I am panicked, cause I can't go back the way we came to our theater (against flow of traffic) and poor Courtney is in the theater with three non walkers, and Colin. The strobe lights and sound are going off so loud that I am worried that Colin will have a panic attack and hold onto the chair for dear life! I am worried about Courtney with the other kids, and I am trying to get Melea to come and she spills her popcorn! SO she is now screaming that I should stop and pick it up! (I left the other five bags on the counter with the sodas ) and Adrian for a change is following directions and holding onto my hand and Meleas leg (I have her draped over my shoulder now cause she is kicking and screaming about her popcorn!)

Luckily it was just a false alarm! They let Melea, Adrian & I back in the front, I stop and get the popcorn, and the nice clerk gives Melea another bag (THANK YOU!!!!) and we head down to find the others. Well they are not in the theater. The wagon is there. I get Melea and Adrian situated with their sodas and drinks, still now one is returning at all. Another mom notices I am a little panicked and offers to watch them (BY THE WAY THEY NEVER STOPPED THE MOVIE! SO it is rolling) I go outside and find a teenager, oh... she hasn't seen them. I mention it is four kids, and a teenager and about 50 other people who have not returned. She calls her boss... and then we realize that no one ever gave them the "all clear" and let them back from where they exited. After they get them out of the cold corridor and headed back... still no Courtney and the other four .... I peer down and I see her slowly trudging up the walk with all of them and Colin pushing Miranda. I hug them all and realize......

OK this has been Mom and Courtney's terrible, awful and horrible bad day!!!! And at least we can now enjoy the movie! I promise Courtney..... this has never happened to us at the movies before! (I HOPE IT NEVER EVER HAPPENS AGAIN!)

and then we sit there watching the Veggies..... I realize for the first time ever.... THEY DO NOT HAVE ARMS! OK now I am perplexed!

11) We all make it home and the kids all enjoyed the movie, and their popcorn and the fun! So at least it was fun for them.

Anyone think Courtney will ever volunteer to go to the movies with all of us again?

At least there was no puking or pooppy diareaha etc on this visit! Just a strobe light and a lot of screaming!

Presendents's Day is next month on the 18th.... anyone want to come with us then?

All good intentions......

2008-01-21T11:19:00.000-06:00

I had the greatest idea for Christmas this year! I would get Melea, Colin and Adrian "MyTwinn" dolls. These are amazing pose able dolls that are "sortof made to look like each child. They are very pricey IMHO, but I was going to make most of the clothes and I remember loving to dress up like my dolls when I was little.

So I saved up and bought them was early ( they are about $30 cheaper if you buy them in the late summer / early fall. I made lots of doll clothes, bought preemie girl tights at Walmart and ordered tons of shoes on Ebay. All three of the children got about 10 outfits & sweaters *& a coat (thank heaven I sew) , a bed (which was handmade and hand sewn linens); a set of sterilight containers to keep the clothes in and Colin even got glasses for his.

They loved opening them.... Melea even screamed WOW!!!!! Several times.... she was so excited it looks like her (or what I think Melea would look like w/o the DS). Colin has been signing Doll all the time.

This mom had all these crazy delusions, that they would all work on their fine motor skills with buttoning, and matching outfits and, their social/pretend play skills by interacting and taking the dolls places.

WHAT WAS I THINKING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I already had six children I am hunting shoes for and chasing around when it comes time to put them in the car..... well now I think I actually have nine I am hunting shoes for! Colin is forever bringing me his doll & clothes and signing "help " and "doll" and "me". I was looking for it to increase communication skills.....JUST NOT WITH ME!

OK, I really do love my three new Children....Miguel, Isabelle and whatever Adrian is calling hers today.....yesterday is was Deja lili ee ooh...

But I really do like the new three for several reasons though.... they never talk back to me (anyways) and they don't eat yogurt and leave it on the floor, and they go to bed without a lot of complaints....providing the kids and I can find their pajamas in the mess the floor of the "doll bedroom"; and they never wet their pants,

So the nine of us are off to the movies this morning...Vegie pirates here we come!

ButI am sure later this afternoon I will hit myself upside of my head and exclaim " what was I thinking~!"

You know you got through to your kids.........

2008-01-20T17:13:00.000-06:00

when the imitate you!!!!!!!

Melea has always been so good at this! She learned to talk by mimicking me on the phone, she loves to feed her sisters and little brother and being a "mommy" to her dolls is so interesting to watch.... but today was the funniest yet.

Today Melea yelled at Jordan twice about pulling hair! Next thing I know.... Miranda is screaming and Melea is trying to put Jordan in the "thinking Chair".

So now I guess we can all chalk off the fact that Melea understands third time and you are in trouble!

I just wonder where the finger shaking comes from!

I hate it when I get blind-sided!

2008-01-19T14:16:00.000-06:00

Yesterday was one of those "wonderful" (everyone get the sarcasm there) days every parent with a child in special education really hates! Getting evaluation results / IEP day.

You would think after so many I attended as a teacher and the fact that I have more than 30 under my belt with all my other children. I would be old school at this. It would be no big deal!!!!!!! BUT DAMM IT IS A BIG DEAL!!!

Miranda is turning three in less than three weeks, she gets to leave my nice warm safe home.... me and Jordan and her safe playroom and all the mother coddling behind and venture off to ECSE pre-school on February 4th!

I have always thought of these as bitter sweet days, my little one is growing up. They don't need me... and all that dribble everyone has.... but most of kids bring on new fears to.... will they fall out of the car seat.... what if they get on the wrong bus.... what if the fall down.

Most of the time moving out of the at home services to in school and all my "special" children other issues that Adrian didn't have to face....just scare the expletive out of me. I have done this three times so far, Miranda will be the fourth plodding off to the bus....OK more likely being carried and placed on it! You would think this would be old school.... I would not have anything unexpected pop up.... BUT BOY WAS I WRONG!

I have been assuming that the desired school setting they would want to put her into would be the same ECSE room that all the other three have gone to. It is a great set up max of 12 children 6 with IEP's and up to 6 models (typical students). Adrian has gone to the same place as her brothers and sisters as a "model" for almost two years and she loves it (course there are days I feel she needs and IEP for her "grumpy" behavior

So I got ready for the conference Friday morning....got Colin & Melea on the bus as usual. Since it was Friday the rest could sleep late cause preschool in M-H. I exercised for about 45 minutes 3 miles + a little, showered and then got the rest of the kids up, bathed and fed. Grandma then came to take care of those not going to the EVAL/IEP conference, and Daddy and Miranda and I set out for our big "fun" .

Actually we have a fun family ritual after this initial eval/ IEP.... whose ever it is gets to pick there favorite restaurant, and go to lunch with daddy and me BY THEMSELVES!!!!!!! Then we go buy school supplies (backpack and a few fun things) and a new outfit for the first day! And since this always corresponds to close to there birthday we are celebrating a lot of things.

So as you can guess I am actually more excited about that part of the afternoon. The meeting should just be easy!!!!!!!! Been there ....done that..... NO PROBLEM was my idea.

Well we get there and it really is like normal, we are early, our RC coordinator get there just after I pull into lot, our PT is late , same room and all that, and of course I get to be read too (pet peave one from IEP's as a parent)

............ to no surprise......... she qualified for ECSE. but here is crux of the situation, the school diagnostic team is advocating for a different type of placement /setting !!!!!!!!

MOM NOT EXPECTING THIS!!!!!!!!!!

ACTUALLY completely caught off guard......and basically not pleased!

... the school diagnostic team think the regular ECSE setting where Colin, Melea have gone and Eliza is at currently is not an appropriate placement for her. I really hit the floor when they said this!

They want her in a "intense therapy classroom" with only four children now and no typical children at all. What the school children refer to these children is worse than the R-word!

I actually for the first time and 30+ IEP under my belt I was just so surprised and hurt and wonder why they don't see how well she has been doing! (We are not even attempting to fathom how I can be in three places at ones....the proposed school is on the other side of town....not where Adrian & Eliza or Colin & Melea are at.)

I felt like immediately demanding the other placements like Colin, Melea and Eliza have/had. But then I remembered that on Thursday evening before I was looking at pictures of Colin plodding off to school with his book bag, he could walk and sign and could carry it. I remember that Melea said a few words.... walked, run climbed carried her own pack and pretty much told me to leaver her alone the minute that bus showed up. Eliza was so ready to go to school and so excited to be a "big girl" like the others .... her smile was ear to ear, and in the first few weeks of school I swear Eliza grew 2 1/2 inches,

Then reality of who she is really fall on my head! (OK...Miranda just bashes me while wildly waving her arms for more Cheerios! and brings me back to "their" reality) I realize Miranda says only NO and signs all done and more! She smiles pretty. Loves to be tickled and to cuddled but she could never even drag her bag more than 4 feet behind her in a bear walk and probably could have a stroke at any minute.

And I remember thinking at Eliza & Adrian's Christmas party.... all these kids look do huge compared to Miranda.... what are they going to do with her. And of course I remember she still likes to eat mulch!

I am just praying the"growth fairy" would make her bigger this morning or at least before the 4th of Feb (first day for her to go to school) so she can go with her sisters,

SO....I didn't SCREAM NO....like I wanted. Eric & I told them I would visit the classroom TUESDAY and maybe take Miranda Wed and then make a decision.

I have so many concerns and since it really doesn't "give" or provide or change her therapy minutes I find the name so misleading anyways.

I have made a list of pros and cons!

PRO

one on one time all the time maybe it wouldn't be bad cause we could do it for rest of school year and then move into other later (anyone think that is as easy as it sounds....)

CON

35 minutes from house (not same school)

another short bus for morning driveway mess up

I am afraid Miranda will take vast quantities of germs to these kids ( from my four that go somewhere different!)

Adrian & Melea really upset

IN GENERAL other issues to think about:

I guess i just feel they are already writing her off! And she isn't even three!

Miranda would make 9 children in the regular ECSE room (3 would be mine) .

Her not walking sucks for both places....cause people have to carry her up and down steps!

Adrian was really looking forward to being there with Miranda too! She has been marking the days off the calendar since we took her into be evaluated!

both schools start & stop at same time and really hard to be in two places at once since not even on same side of town (different than our Elementary to Middle to high.... they are all within 2 mile of each other) including parties and activities!

And worst of all I just feel (like so many parents do.... that my kids are part of how we define ourselves) and having a child with intellectual disabilities makes it even harder to separate this from yourself.

Personally I feel that she needs this but she needs those models too! I also feel like I failed her so bad and that if they put her there she will never get anywhere.

But I do realize she is nowhere near where they other children were when they started ( she is a year behind everyone due to heart issues)

.... I want to swear she is in there and coming.... just slowly.... but is she? Am I just reading and seining something that isn't really there! Can you be too optimistic. I laugh when all people tell me "how cool" of a mom I am cause I know where my kids are and accept it?

But if I put her there is that accepting the Miranda I see doesn't exist.... or if I send her with the other two am I just delusional and expecting to much and setting her up for failure?

I just feel so helpless and like whatever I decide will be wrong! And detrimentally effect her forever!

I really cried all through her special lunch ....actually managed to drink 2 chocolate coffees, eat a ton of ice cream and chocolate, and then stop on way home for a chocolate frappacino! We never made it shopping!

I am so mad! I just really am not sure who I am mad at. Me, Eric, the diagnostics team, the whole system of "labeling and such....even as we all pretend it doesn't matter....IT DOES!

And I guess that I will take Miranda out for another special lunch another day because that one JUST PLAIN SUCKED!! It has always been fun and a "grow up " tradition thing.... and I feel we all got cheated out of that too! Because of the fact I was blindsided.

So I will go Tuesday and try to be positive and decide if I really can see Miranda in the room they want for her.... I hope they all know how hard it is for me to see her anywhere but with her sisters and brothers and smiling, having fun and being loved by one and all!

And I will take any suggestions for being in four places at one time..... putting kids on bus at our house, taking Adrian to KGN at different school & putiing Eliza on her bus to go to preschool and Miranda on hers. With Little Jordan just loving riding in his car seat!

Sorry for the pity party! I somehow always become so productive after one of these moments....so I am off to wait for that to happen!

Eric versus the camera!

2008-01-16T13:45:00.000-06:00

We...all of us have been working on making a video for a little boy we are considering adopting.

Somehow I always have a way of turning a small project into something huge! (the back yard play set, the lofts, the beds, to name a few) .

Well I guess I should start at he beginning.....

Almost ten years ago we had a beautiful and wonderful exchange student from Japan. Yoko was amazing and a whole lot of fun! Well when she returned to Japan.... she couldn't fit her video camera in..... it was something not sold in US at that time (she even had to sen us the Mini DV's for several years till they finally jumped the ocean and began selling this type of device here.

I was really excited, cause I didn't have a camcorder at that time, it was way cooler than anything available and so much smaller. Only one major problem..... all the buttons and manual in Japanese and neither Eric or I speak Japanese.

So over the years we have tried to figure it out, we have mainly used it as a monitor for theater projects, and occasionally making a tape or two (Extreme makeover home owners) and a few of the kids. We have always had big plans to get a new camera over the last 7 years.... but never have.

So over two weeks ago, mt kid wrangler and I got it out and spend about 4 hours trying to make it work..... you really wouldn't think it would be that hard..... but it was. the battery is no longer holding a charge so you have to use the power supply and a long cord. Then we can't make it work.... I search the web for a crash course in Japanese and camcorders.

I am so desperate because, the house was clean (so I wouldn't be embarrassed by how it looks on the tape) . I have help to make it that is not just Adrian and the kids are all dresses up and ready and excited. Still no luck...we waste so much time that Eric finally gets home... of course he takes 3 minutes and it just works perfectly for him. (GRRRRRR from both me and Kayla and Adrian is laughing so hard that she pees her pants...literally)

So we shoot about an hour of video..... and then put the camera away. We all decided we would shoot outside tomorrow cause the weather is supposed to be in the mid 60's and that would be a whole lot of fun!

As amazing as it sounds the next day it won't work again!!!!!!!!! We wait for Eric to get home, no luck this time (at least I know I am not as stupid as I look...cause he isn't doing any better)
I send him to Radio Shack to see if they have a plug or a converter or anything....no luck! Nothing available online either that is under 200 $ plus shipping!

So we make a new plan. Kayla is going to bring her 8mm camera and we will shoot what we didn't and then put the stuff we already shot on it after I buy a new one after Eric gets paid next.

So we plan to buy a new camera next pay day, we finish the video on 8mm, Kayla and I feel so vindicated that we get the 8mm stuff transferred to the cassette. A friend volunteers to put the other from the mini DV onto the cassette for me. I am so elated!

Then I realize that the mini dv tape is in the camera. No power to the camera so it ca not eject!!!! Ok I try all the normal things, to pry it out.... no luck. As with all the "to tight" lids on the applesauce and the impossible caps on the soda, I decide to do what every good wife does!!! I sick my husband on it!

Again I am thinking he will just "Pry it out" with a bigger screw driver! It will take maybe 3-5 minutes at the most. Well 45 minutes, almost 70 little screws and many curse words I am hoping Adrian and Colin do not repeat (finally a reason to be glad he doesn't talk). I hear ..... I did it! I have one tape! To give to my friend to finish dubbing !!!..... a huge mess.

Eric is so proud that he has finally beat the camcorder, he finally is the " supreme" over an electronic device. It is laying in many pieces with a zillion screws and little metal clips every where. It is like he is a great knight and he finally slew that dragon that has been tormenting him for years.

The ironic dragon is standing in for all those electronic equipment we own that still is blinking the time.... cause it is too much of a pain to reset each power blink.

So thanks for getting our tape back Eric and the entertainment you provided us while doing it!

I was thinking today.....

2008-01-08T19:57:00.000-06:00

you really know you are a "mom" because you really don't have a purse anymore just a diaper / snack/ hold the inhalers bag!

SO i have to have somewhere to "put" all that useless stuff most women carry in their purse.

Here is what I found in my pockets of one of my coats today.....

a peak a block;

a spoon with what I thought was yogurt dried on it;

the missing little phillips screw driver for the computer & a machine screw about 3/4 inch long that needed a flat head screw driver;

a luggage lock;

a bunch of used tissues, as well as a few on the other side that were clean!;

one little person with their hat (I think it might actually have been a happy meal toy);

a rechargeable AA battery;

a Ziploc bag full of baby wipes;

several jolly ranchers (I have no idea when I got these.... am thinking before Jordan was born... I used to suck on them to relieve the nausea~!);

a family photo before Eliza and Jordan.....

expired coupons for our Favorite Mexican restaurant

a popped balloon

a jiggler that looks like an alligator (special needs toy....)

a roll around (like a peek a block but in a ball form)

a size 1 diaper (all kids now in size 3 or up!)

2 off white socks that sort of match and one that does not! I think that at least one of them was Colin's the other has lace & a bow

several pony tail holders, a scrunchie, a few hair clips;

one of the magnetic keys for the kitchen child proof cabniets

two broken necklaces that either Jordan or Miranda must have pulled on and snapped.... you would think I would have stopped wearing jewlery with all the kids... but I guess I tried it again.... and surprise....it ended up in my pocket!

and a key to my house in Tennessee....that we haven't lived in for several years

There was so much stuff that I am absolutely sure that I was 10 lbs lighter once I emptied them!

I wonder what I had in my pockets before children! It probably was no where as interesting as what I found today!

So after finding all that....I am absolutely positively sure that I never want to carry a purse again...... what the heck would I get in there!

What an accomplishment! I am so excited!!!!!!

2008-01-04T02:05:00.000-06:00

I am so proud and excited and happy and relieved and sad all at one time!

Miranda has decided to eat with a spoon! I mean really eat...not just the one try she used to give before chucking it away and resorting to scooping whatever it is with her hands.... because utensils just get in the way!!!! Yougurt and soup are not really very good foods to eat this way!

Last night I was just so excited... she really decided to to do this on her own..... or maybe she just decided that she could feed herself faster and better if I wasn't involved in the process.... but whatever reason..... she can do it on her own.... my littlest princess is growing up!

Less than four weeks till she starts preschool! I can't believe three is approaching that fast!

I am utterly impressed with this new medicine they have her on for pain/seizures..... she is like a different child and growing and moving and learning and just plain taking off in so many directions at once I think I will soon find it hard to keep up with her!

SIDE NOTE: "Elmos Grows Up" is at the Scott Trade Center next week...think maybe we will go and I will leave the screw drivers at home!

The Possessed Elmo!

2008-01-03T21:00:00.000-06:00

Today was one of the days that only a mother can sit and laugh at latter. (or a parent with as many Elmo dolls as we have).

It started off with me sitting straight up at 6:45 and remembering that the kids went back to school today after Christmas vacation and I am late!!!!!!!! I should have been up 30 minutes ago! Not a great start!

We somehow manage to get a mom, five kids and a dad through the shower... locate 3 pairs of shoes Colin's, Melea's and Eliza's, 2 pairs of orthotics for Colin & Melea, one pair of Snow boots for Adrian (dad got the wrong ones....I wanted her pink ones.... and socks and tights for all of them, got Jordan dressed (cause he forgot his assigned job is to sleep through morning rush!).

The second major problem of the day occurs..... Daddy and I and Adrian and Colin are all searching for Miranda's left shoe & orthotic boot!!!!!!! MISSING!!!!!!!!!! So at first Dad suggests just letting her go downstairs for therapy in her slippers (not really the worst idea.... ) but.........I then realize I will be looking for that shoe and "boot" combination for the next two or three hours and to prevent me from continuing to find the same shoe over and over (the one we always had)... I decide she is going downstairs with the right one one!

This is probably not that conducive to walking.... but at least when I find the other one I will know it the "MISSING ONE" and it won't be missing anymore!

So I manage to get all of the children downstairs and in the process of attempting to get hat, coats, gloves on four that go to school. No as easy as it could sound cause it involves fighting with Adrian over which coat she is wearing and trying to get Mr. head sensitive to put on a hat.... well at least he is carrying it in his pocket now!

I packed back packs last night except for snacks & Elmo DVD & Potty Elmo (an Elmo, a potty and a sippy cup)! So Colin is dramatically reminding me that Potty Elmo and his DVD are supposed to go to school in a pantomime that Marcel Marceau would be proud of! MR my butt...or maybe I just translate well!...

I go to get Potty Elmo... who was sitting in the "infant play area on the shelf..... I get there just in time to see Melea sweeping all the stuffed animals on the floor again!! UGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Disaster number 3. Well that is if you realize that in the last 7 years they have made 48 different "stuffed talking, singing, dancing, pizza making" annoying and posessed versions of that little red devil! (I am also sure we own at least 40 of them..... not to mention the just plain stuffed versions, and all the Ernie's, and cookie monsters, and four Zoe's, and one Grover!) They are all on the floor with their potty's , and thermometers, and shoes , and other accoutrement's.

So here I am rooting through looking for Potty Elmo & his little potty & cup!!

Colin joins the search and is throwing them left and right and over the gates making a much bigger mess (and some of them are heavy enough to knock out a grown up!) He finally finds the right one.... and proves it by pressing the button....and I hear...."la dada dad dada da....Elmo went In the POTTY!" SO I am excited one part down.... I spend the next four minutes looking for the other two parts.... cursing Eric under my breath cause he should have been down 5 minutes ago and he could be handing the gloves or dealing with the ever squealing Princess Grumpy and her lost coat....

I finally find the potty and the cup and grab Colin and the Elmo and we go to he door... about 30 seconds before the first bus should be pulling up! THANK HEAVENS THEY ARE LATE!

Colin then pushes the button.... no potty song, no asking for a drink nothing! I think what up.... how can my luck be that bad....batteries die now!!!!!!!!!

He is crying and Melea is jumping up and down trying to get in the exercise saucer with Jordan and Eliza is just sitting on the floor moping and looking completely sad and dejected!

I grab Elmo...whack him a few times on the counter fo good measure & check his off switch!

No luck.... so I start the tedious process of hunting a screw driver....then batteries all while trying to watch for the bus (actually put Adrian in front of window and make it her job to tell me if she sees it since it is way to cold to wait outside!!!).

I start to attempt to change the batteries..... this is nowhere as easy as it sounds 2 little Phillip's screws to come out the size that seems to way to small for a normal #2 Philip's driver and way to large for the one that works on my computer (I SWEAR THE DO THIS ON PURPOSE!)

So I finally get them out..... then change them. Screw him back up...and hand him to Colin and then proceed to attempt to get snacks (still no bus by the way and it is 8:05 am)

Colin starts stamping his foot and he hits me with Elmo! He is trying to point out Elmo is still not working!!!! I wrestle the velcro open (it is strong enough to suspend a ford truck) and and check to see if the switch is off, can't find it, reopen the battery compartment....still no bus.... check batteries, no change.... ask about the bus.... take out batteries.....re insert the batteries... not backwards....no bus yet..... I start looking for a loose wire....NO Eric either.... getting a little more irritated again at him.... I screw down the battery compartment again...... see a funny whole... it looks like a data port. The light dawns on me slowly!

.... OH NO it is Elmo Know's MY NAME!!!! The Elmo that talks in sentences and ask questions and uses Colin's name and the other kids names and words/stuff Colin likes.

Now why is this a problem... sound like a great toy....ACCEPT ours has never worked correctly.... I talks when it feels like it not when you push the button or motion activate or anything when ever / where ever it feels that it should say something!

I panic... not potty ELMO..... it is Colin's possessed Elmo..... THE ONE I HATE....it scares me.... the one I swore I would never put batteries in again.......... he has batteries!!!! A Red devil chuckey look alike... I envision the massacre awaiting me when I return from putting the children on the bus....

All of a sudden Adrian is screaming "BUS...BUS.... BUS..." It is the elementary bus not the preschool one..... so I run once to infant play room, while Colin & Melea go to bus with Adrian carrying the book bags. ... check for the real potty Elmo, grab him and run to stick him into one of the back packs. Wave good bye and run back to the house with Adrian cause it is freezing.

Adrian then throws "Possessed Elmo"' into the pile......the next bus is here in a flash and short bus derby is over for the first day back....

In that short time between buses, I got dad forgotten lunch, found toilet paper to wipe a noncomplient little one's nose; get dad out of the drive way with the recycling, found out about the nurse's Christmas holiday, as well as pondering why the 8:00 bus has now has decided to get here consistently after the 8:15 bus....

and as I am walking into the mud room... I lean over to grab Jordan....I hear that annoying Elmo voice from the other room (where no one is) say "Colin would you like a cheese sandwich?"...... "Colin will you be my friend?"..... and put Jordan down to a protest, find a screw driver and decide it is time for possessed Elmo to .......

We go back to normal tommorrow!

2008-01-02T22:42:00.000-06:00

School Starts back up Thursday!!!!! Can you hear me singing! I am sort of excited, but I might actually miss a continuously messy house, taking someone to the bathroom every 5 minutes and having Melea demand a "peurply" candy every 15 minutes!

I has been a fun, exciting and occasionally challenging Christmas break! But is it over, yes it is over and the short buses will start sliding up the driveway tomorrow! Yeah!

We actually had a great end of vacation today. We all went to get hair cuts (kids day at custom cuts ....saves $3 a kid and that add up with 6 children), then a walmart run for yogurt and then we all went to the Chinese restaurant for lunch!

It is amazing what my children will eat...an how it actually costs us the same to eat there as McDonald's. Colin just started branching out from the silly chicken (sweet & sour). He now like beef or pork lo-mein as well as devouring the fried rice, and a crab Rangoon.

Melea still only likes the "silly" chicken, but she did try a bit of the sauce today and a bite of egg roll! Though she loves those fortune cookies.

Adrian has to eat with chopsticks (I am sure the way she eats is not the actual way...she sort of skewers it a lot!).... She also seemed to try drowning her "silly chicken" in soy soup today! But she at least was excited cause the bathroom was next tot he table....and there is no exit near it so she got to go by herself....she is so proud of this!

Eliza and Miranda just love the noodles from my wonton soup and the rice. Eliza still has the most problem with chewing any type of chicken.... but boy does she try.... the same piece sometime three times. I am so good at eating soup...I can eat it with one hand and catch the pieces she is spitting out with the other! But she is self feeding and so proud of her ability to put her own plate in the sink or trash that you would look at that smile ant think she won a million dollars!

Miranda was just happy to be out and mad that it was so cold....she hates to be cold!

All in all it was a great outing with the kids and our helper Miss Kayla today!

I really was proud of all of them....including when Melea laid on the floor at walmart and had a screaming fit! Cause I asked her if I needed to find a thinking chair and she looked up at me....then jumped up and shook her head no! (though a few minutes latter she was in trouble again and lost her privilege to walk and had to get into the cart!)

..... but she is taking so much responsibility ... pushing the cart..... getting stuff off shelves... counting as we put stuff into the cart... but she is still stuck on TWO!

So I will miss them a lot ....BUT I AM NOT COUNTING DOWN THE DAYS TILL SPRING BREAK!

Last Day of 2007

2007-12-31T20:52:00.000-06:00

Was not that exciting at our house. I remember thinking as a kid / teenager that I would always do something cool on New Year's eve.... I would make sure I booked the babysitter early... that we would have a party of something really exciting! (I was always babysitting and making $$$ when I was young!

Ironically after a day of starting to undecorate the multitude of Christmas trees & defrocking the outside (cause it was really warm here today 47-50 degrees). I am looking forward to an evening of watching Sponge Bob Square Pants with Adrian and Colin and Melea and Daddy and bringing in the New Year with one of the weirdest Nickelodeon creations that my children seem to love more than choclate (an I am actually beginning to appreciate Sponge Bob too) as we undecorate the big tree in front of a fire drinking ginger ale and sherbert coolers.

Maybe after 40 I am getting to old to party or I guess I really never had that much fun doing it, or maybe all those cool things really can't compare to an evening at home with my favorite children and the best daddy in the world and knowing that I am bringing in 2008 with the most important people in the world to me!

I hope you all have a wonderful New Year and that this one will bring all of us joy and excitement and pray that we will all be here to watch Sponge Bob next year too~! (Course I am hoping we can graduate to Monty Python soon!)

the Big Mess!

2007-12-30T22:10:00.001-06:00

Some days I love being a mom to all my children (hey that is my favorite soap opera too)! But I have to say that keeping up with all their toys is never one of my favorite activities.

Today after I had been working on catching up on laundry for a few hours and thinking about tackling matching socks..... Melea and Colin cam in from playing outside with Adrian to check on Miranda and Jordan. They were playing in the "baby" room.

This is a toy area... about an 7'x9' closet that I put / filled with all "baby safe / non choking toys and decorated the shelves with all the stuffed animals the kids have as well as all the old / out of batteries talking/singing/dancing Elmo's we have ..... and that is a lot! But is is fun and safe and Miranda and Jordan can crawl and play and do stuff and it is somewhat like a big playpen with a lot of toys....mostly out of reach... but there to be exchanged and moved and to encourage walking and fun!

Well to my chagrin after cleaning and picking up all three the toy room yesterday.... the baby room suddenly looked like there had been a 10.0 earthquake that hit it. I wanted to scream!!!!!!

Colin, Melea, Adrian and Daddy had been playing outside on the rainbow.... boy did they need to waste some energy running around (though apparently it was no where near enough) Eric had come in to go to the restroom and I had decided to change Miss Stinky pants..... so Jordan was alone in the toy room..... next thing I hear is lots of giggling and laughing and Elmo's talking & singing & making unbelievable sounds!

Melea decided to climb up and knock down all of the stuffed animals, then Colin helped her by dumping all the bins out.... (note the photo is from earlier this year when it was warm and the room was not completely decimated!) . In less than the time it took me to change Miranda's diaper, they came in saw that Jordan only had one toy and decided to "help him" pick another .....another from about a thousand! URGH!!!!!!!!!!!!

I guess I can at least say that the did wait till after our guests left...so they can still think I am an overly compulsive neat freak. But is is so infuriating because Eric and I had just cleaned it all up and gotten all the toys back into the correct bins and made sure all the pieces were there for each toy.

Each and every day I am utterly amazed at the amount of damage my six wonderful angelic children can inflict on our toy area in a matter of minutes. I am the queen of organization and I swear that half the sterilite containers produced are in my house..... but I just get so surprised at the simple joy that all my kids get from dumping those containers out!

All of them love it.... Adrian will dump her little dolls furniture everywhere!, Colin and the train parts, and Melea.... Melea just loves to dump it all, throw it all, just make a huge mess.

Today it was so deep with stuffed animals it took me a few minutes to realize which moving pile was Jordan and which was Colin!

I asked her... did she want to help clean it up or sit in the "thinking chair".... well she looked a the floor, looked at me... and hopped down from the bookshelf and kicked about a dozen animals out of her way and walked upstairs to the thinking chair! I don't think I will be asking her that question again!

Colin helped me pick up some of the items, before he decided to go outside and play again and I just sat on the floor and was reminded of a story Sister Virgina told us in 7th grade...about visiting a former student who had a messy house and how she knew all the children there were loved so much....cause mom didn't have time to keep cleaning up after them..... I am sure if she could see my toy room right now Sister would know I really love my children a lot today!

So maybe Melea is trying to tell me something..... what ever the case... I went upstairs after clearing the floor of the big animals and making a safe spot for Miranda and Jordan .

I think I learned a bigger lesson than her anyways. I am never asking that question again!

When I got upstairs. Melea smiled and had a big hug for me, then she asked for "toooooo puprles" and I gave her two Hershey's kisses and she came down and helped me for about three minutes before asking to go outside and play!

Maybe I am a horrible mom or may be a great mom.... not really sure, cause I gave her candy and then let her off the hook.... but she actually verbally asked to play outside and she never would have helped me put silly parts Elmo back in the right box and "anal retentivel" mommy has to have the blocks in the block box, and the roll-arounds in that box, and the pop onz in the barrel, etc, etc, etc ........

What can $85 get you......

2007-12-29T21:44:00.001-06:00

$17.50 for tickets to show,
$13.50 for popcorn and two sodas,
$40 for babysitter (worth every penny and thanks T for filling in!)
and $ 15.00 for drive thru steak and shake cause I was worried about Eliza's wheezing and wanted to get home!

But four hours alone with Eric PRICELESS! (well Johnny Depp was there for 122 minutes of it too)

Christmas break has been pretty much a huge bust! Thank heaven it is short compared to NEXT YEAR"S!!!!!!!! I am starting to plan now for 20 days of seven kids and dad!

I make all these great plans and something always comes up.... one of the children is invariably sick (glad that usually doesn't stop us), I get a horrendous head cold / sinus infection, the extra child wrangler for the holidays sick ....urgh.......e when I got plans to finish calendars, work on the subdivision website, put away all the new toys, and do laundry, return a few gifts and maybe shop for some new clothes for COLIN...he is finally a size 5/6!!!!!! and want to see a grown up movie!

Last night a friend of ours watched the children and Eric and I got to go out to see "Sweeney Todd".

I have been so enamoured with Johnny Depp since his 21 Jump Street Days that the thought of spending the evening with him and Eric was really exciting to this old stay at home mom and Sweeney is one of the plays I love to see and still have on my list of things I want to direct someday.

I am not sure why as a theater production Sweeney is not scary to me and I would take Adrian and Colin (Melea could not sit that long) but I think the others will be 21 before I let them see that movie. But I almost broke Eric's hand at one point and I am happy I was not on the clean up crew for that production!

But all the blood really grossed me out! Now why you would think I would be so delusional to think that a movie based on a musical based on a book about a barber who slits people's throats and a woman who chops up the bodies and serves them to Londeners would be a fun family event .... but Tim Burton brought out more gore and disgust in his grey and sepia tone London than even I thought possible. Eric said he thought there was more blood in Todd than in the original Texas Chainsaw Massacre (another film I don't ever want my children to see...)

Ironically Eric and I really enjoyed it and we both agreed that no one but Tim Burton could have directed it. I also felt that they did a great adaption on screen of that musical (and that is hard production to do well).

I also loved sitting in front of the people we did... they apparently had never seen the stage show and kept asking if that note was off key or do you think they meant for that WEIRD DISCORD. I guess they have never heard an actual Sondheim musical before... lol.... I find all his music really interesting and Sweeney has always been one of my absolute favorites and am really glad I am not trying to sing it!

Actually I really liked it and who knew that Depp could carry a tune and I guess I am getting really old cause I want Alan Richman to play a hot good guy next time he is looking really good as he is getting older! (that or I need to get out of the house more) Sort of an evil Sean Connery thing starting there!