Mortality & Peace of Mind!!!

I always wonder what makes me feel more mortal. Is it my children, my lawyer, my age…which past 40 this year, or our insurance agent?

Having children, specifically special needs children, and specifically the number that we have make planning for the possibility of our (Eric’s and mine) deaths really scary. And even more of a necessity! Since I am one of those panicky people who make up things to worry about it is actually a wonder that I have been able to sleep on those few occasions when Adrian, et al will let me. By the way the Met Desk specialists are really good at this type of planning! It is amazing what parents of special needs children have to do for their kids to help guarantee their futures.

Well today my husband and I took the time to finally get the big albatross around both our necks removed! The last step in this process, to sign the new life insurance policies is done!!! We are both now officially worth more dead than alive! (Basically if they are always thinking the person who has a 50K benefit is the killer on Law & Order….I guess we will be both the prime suspects if something happens to the other!)

We have recently updated our special needs trust, since finalizing Eliza’s adoption and realizing we wanted to make sure we were covered in case we decided to adopt any other children (you never know when we might get a phone call or email). Started a new bank account, got a new EIN, got the new checks I wrote a new “How to care for the Smith Family Children Booklet”…OK really a large binder with letters of intent, and instructions and information and all that jazz, putting copies of IEP’s and goals, and all our important peoples names, and who doctors & specialist are, who you actually need to talk to at different places to get things accomplished the first time, and all the items I keep in my head regarding the kids schedules and daily routines, our bills and all that!

So today was the day we got to do the last step….we signed the papers, upped all the insurances…wrote some checks….do I feel prepared…or better…. Happy….NO!! I am a person who hates situations I can’t control, and the eventuality of “death” is a huge thing.

I am still amazed that it can and does come so unexpectedly. I see examples every single day on the news. It is really amazing how one event can change so many lives in an instant. I remember thinking so vividly one February morning when I was driving to school for a play rehearsal and passed a funeral outside a small catholic church. I thought of the temperature…it was frigid, and what an awful day it was to depart the earth…and what a crappy day for the people to have to attend this with the snow, and the dark gloom and all. Little did I know that my mother had already passed away that very morning and we would be attending one just like this…. outside in the snow and ice, cold, and the winter gloom for her in a few days. I learned every so vividly that death comes all too quickly and vividly and usually unexpectedly to so many.

So with today what I do feel though is relieved!!! IT IS DONE!!!!…I can say that I have made sure our family is protected on paper for now and that if all goes as planned all of my children will benefit from all this work someday…..I just want it to be much much much later that sooner!