Saturday, January 17, 2009

I am spending the night with my son!

Leaving Emerson at the hospital has been one of the harder things I have ever done! All of my kids roomed in after birth, they stayed within my or daddy's eyesight the whole time from birth till we discharged!

IT HAS NOT WORKED THIS WAY! Heck Eric didn't even know he had a son till about an hour after he was born! (another story another time)


he has been in the specialty care and then the NICU at a different hospital (thank heavens connect by a tunnel...... )

We also have never left any of the kids alone at the hospital except for the amount of time it took to take a shower or run to get food in the cafeteria! So I am hating this so much!!!!

But I have been still a little too weak to stay overnight (the plan is I will go down at 7 pm and be home by 7 am every day as soon as I can drive..... that way I am not missed so much) and can feed him 4 times and then they only have to bottle feed four times!


Well it went really well! They have the most comfortable (by hospital standards) chair in his room..... I got to feed him three times, the nurse asked to use the NG tube for one feeding because he is still breathing so hard! (He went back on the O2 because his restorations were high (the pulse ox fine 98-100%) today which does affect how much he can eat in the bottle...... he gets annoyed with the NG and the nasal cannula!


I loved getting to hold him, he snuggles and falls asleep so well....... I just can't wait to do this without all the tubes and IV'S. Waiting for that day! And I am still feeling awful about leaving him alone (I know the nurses will take great care of him!!!! but it is not the same)


So I have to learn to just concentrate on my job....... which is to get better, get off the walker, regain my ability to walk and balance (I fell in the garage earlier this evening...... on Devon...... I really felt stupid and it hurt, got about 8 new bruises ...... to go with all the IV and blood draw ones!!!!! But I was so worried about squishing Devon and he was trying to "stop" me (again a huge feet for a 40 lb guy and my huge swollen BOTTOM & LEGS!!!!
We took the kids shopping today...... Garden Ridge, Walmart and then to El Nopal...... trying to make them feel like all is OK and back to somewhat normal! I GOT IN THE VAN!!!!! I have found out that I have a lot of upper body strength that I didn't know I had!
It was actually easier to ride in than Eric or mom's car! The seat is taller and my legs did not fall asleep! I missed my van.... and I did get some of the trash out of it (it drives me nuts to have trash in the car!) I probably overdid it!
I am still so ridiculously swollen!!!!! The bottom and hips and upper thighs are significantly down, but the lower legs and feet keep getting tighter!!!!!!!!!!!! They hurt to touch, get stepped on (each child managed to do this at least twice today) and they really hurt when Daddy ran into them with the Walmart cart!!! I had a harder time getting Daddy's slippers on today (men's size 12 and ww!) They are actually getting tighter around the ankle! I don't know how they could....but they are!
I really can't wait to get them to the point I can drive..... my two abdominal scars and surgery areas really only hurt if you touch them...... or I over do it (by Jane standards) but these legs are making it impossible to do what I want to!!!!! I hate being dependent on others (even Eric) I will be such a horrible old person!!!!!!
But being able to take care of Boo Boo (Emerson) and to feed him and hug him and hold him for that 14 hours straight (minus the broccoli & carrot run to the cafeteria at 2 am........ gosh I love carrots now~ I have eaten them 2x a day since I was able to eat solids!) made me feel a lot better. I will start this every night as soon as I can drive.

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