Miranda isn't going to OUR school now.....

Ironically a teacher said to me yesterday they were so happy that Eric and I were so proacitive at dealing wiht a problem with Colin and his inclusionary classroom. She felt and has had a lot of parents say "if it is happening at school, it is your problem....not ours".

Well today I am so starting to understand why any parent would say that! We are tired of fighting for our children and their rights by the time they get to 1st or 2nd or 4 th grade.... that we don't care, we don't want to participate by then WE ARE EXHAUSTED OF THIS UPHILL BATTLE!!


Many times I am beginning to think the school people are counting on this fact more than they will ever let on it makes the education job so much simplier.

I find it ironic that all the books and articles and everything....say "fight for inclusion, get all the early therapy and other services for your child to ensure their best potential outcome.

And we parents start this battle....from the day we find out about their disability. For some this our little one's the original birth day. For other parents this is somewhere along the developmental path when they were told their precious little bundle has deviated from the "normal".

NO ONE wants to ever hear this!!!.... no one wants to visit a therapy room or a focus room or whatever "awesome, non threatening name" an educator decides to give it...... and think is this really where my child belongs!

We are still in some denial! We always will see the child we thought they were suppossed to be! WE DO NOT WANT TO GO TO IEP MEETINGS, or make other plans or have extra time taken away from our jobs and our lives with our family to deal with this!

Even I ..... I look at my beautiful children and wonder what they would be like if they were "normal", but as an adoptive parent I also know that Eric and I would have none of my four precious angels if they had the regular 46 chromosomes. So this thought is really a slippery sword for me!

I still look for the things that would classify them as "normal", for a glimpse or a way they turn their head, something that does make them the same as their peers.

Then there are days I sometimes relish in the fact that people are so ignorant and say "hey she only looks like she has a little down syndrome" or "it has to be a mild case she looks so smart" or the all time favorite is " what oriental country is he from?"

Why does this make me secretely happy....BECAUSE for one brief moment that person did not see the "disability" untill it was pointed out and they just saw a beautiful child. MY BEAUTIFUL CHILD!

AND I AM NOT STUPID or DELLUSIONAL!

This is just human nature to want what is best for our children and we are told that different is bad! Look at our media, our beauty icons, our sports hearos, That is what we tell everyone they should aspire to be! Never once have I heard someone say.... I want my child to grow up and be confined to a wheel chair or to never speak... that sounds like a fun idea.

Several times I have heard my child describe geneticaly as a mistake! As non religious as I am I still feel that GOD (or the universeor whatever) doesn't make mistakes... maybe a "chaos" theory might be a better explanation for Colin somedays!

"I liken " (my tenessee aceent comin' back) it to the little creature SCRAT from ICE AGE with the nut, all he wants is to do something so simple... to crack it and eat it. But he ends up causing a huge catastropic event!

I am starting to feel I am chasing this LRE, inclusion, and and all that stuff and I will never get it for them and trying to get it for them will likely kill me in the process! (and sometimes I am starting to think that is the plan all along)

ALL I want for all my children is to go to school and learn to the best they can.... whatever this is....cause I don't even know their limits (and I am absolutely certain that a person who has spent only 75 minutes once with them certainly does not) but Eric and I certainly have a better clue. We will be here for them the day they are no longer a "problem" for the school system..... and they fall off that cliff.... so believe me I am thinking LONG LONG LONG TERM!

I am so tired of being presented with options to have them determine that "oh.... that won't work now."

I find it ironic that people have know all of Miranda's issues (OK most of her issues since SEPT).

I find it ironic that all the books and articles and everything....say "fight for inclusion, get all the early therapy and other services for your child to ensure their best potential outcome.

All of a sudden the fact she isn't walking is a problem since all the class rooms are in the basement! Not like they weren't there in sept or December or when we had her IEP on JAN 18th. And how about every single time I have had to drag the stroller up and down the steps at school for the last three years that someone would have noticed she wasn't walking!

I DID!

Oh.... they have options.... but I don't like any of them.... and I laugh at most.... Like I want someone here in my house again! I AM TIRED OF EARLY INTERVENTION! I AM TIRED OF NOT BEING ABLE TO DO ANYTHING CAUSE I AM CONSTANTLY WAITING ON SOMEONE TO COME OR TO SHOW UP OR wondering where they are or having people call and change it at the last minute.

I have been in this program every day for the last 7 1/2 years with one child or another..... I AM OVER IT! AND IT DOESNOT GIVE HER WHAT SHE NEEDS!!!! 3 hours each day of "typical classroom stimulation"

Am I really thinking this is just their way to force a therapy room on us..... Probably!

So no she isn't going to school and I am not going to take itinerant services either! That is not what her IEP states and I will protest any change with the highest voice I can!

They offered to do it just till spring break.....or preferably the end of the year. Then they would move classrooms around then. Great my kid gets to cause how many kids and their families an inconvenience.... great makes me feel so good~ I know a new classroom change like that would "stress my typical child and freak out Eliza.... so why are others going to be hurt because of inadequate "reactive" planning.

Why are they so reactive and not proactive when it comes to planning.

URGH!!!!!!!!!!! I am so irritated that all I want to do is scream!!!!!!! Why is this the actual hardest transition I have done!!!!!