The Possessed Elmo!

Today was one of the days that only a mother can sit and laugh at latter. (or a parent with as many Elmo dolls as we have).

It started off with me sitting straight up at 6:45 and remembering that the kids went back to school today after Christmas vacation and I am late!!!!!!!! I should have been up 30 minutes ago! Not a great start!

We somehow manage to get a mom, five kids and a dad through the shower... locate 3 pairs of shoes Colin's, Melea's and Eliza's, 2 pairs of orthotics for Colin & Melea, one pair of Snow boots for Adrian (dad got the wrong ones....I wanted her pink ones.... and socks and tights for all of them, got Jordan dressed (cause he forgot his assigned job is to sleep through morning rush!).

The second major problem of the day occurs..... Daddy and I and Adrian and Colin are all searching for Miranda's left shoe & orthotic boot!!!!!!! MISSING!!!!!!!!!! So at first Dad suggests just letting her go downstairs for therapy in her slippers (not really the worst idea.... ) but.........I then realize I will be looking for that shoe and "boot" combination for the next two or three hours and to prevent me from continuing to find the same shoe over and over (the one we always had)... I decide she is going downstairs with the right one one!

This is probably not that conducive to walking.... but at least when I find the other one I will know it the "MISSING ONE" and it won't be missing anymore!

So I manage to get all of the children downstairs and in the process of attempting to get hat, coats, gloves on four that go to school. No as easy as it could sound cause it involves fighting with Adrian over which coat she is wearing and trying to get Mr. head sensitive to put on a hat.... well at least he is carrying it in his pocket now!

I packed back packs last night except for snacks & Elmo DVD & Potty Elmo (an Elmo, a potty and a sippy cup)! So Colin is dramatically reminding me that Potty Elmo and his DVD are supposed to go to school in a pantomime that Marcel Marceau would be proud of! MR my butt...or maybe I just translate well!...

I go to get Potty Elmo... who was sitting in the "infant play area on the shelf..... I get there just in time to see Melea sweeping all the stuffed animals on the floor again!! UGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Disaster number 3. Well that is if you realize that in the last 7 years they have made 48 different "stuffed talking, singing, dancing, pizza making" annoying and posessed versions of that little red devil! (I am also sure we own at least 40 of them..... not to mention the just plain stuffed versions, and all the Ernie's, and cookie monsters, and four Zoe's, and one Grover!) They are all on the floor with their potty's , and thermometers, and shoes , and other accoutrement's.

So here I am rooting through looking for Potty Elmo & his little potty & cup!!

Colin joins the search and is throwing them left and right and over the gates making a much bigger mess (and some of them are heavy enough to knock out a grown up!) He finally finds the right one.... and proves it by pressing the button....and I hear...."la dada dad dada da....Elmo went In the POTTY!" SO I am excited one part down.... I spend the next four minutes looking for the other two parts.... cursing Eric under my breath cause he should have been down 5 minutes ago and he could be handing the gloves or dealing with the ever squealing Princess Grumpy and her lost coat....

I finally find the potty and the cup and grab Colin and the Elmo and we go to he door... about 30 seconds before the first bus should be pulling up! THANK HEAVENS THEY ARE LATE!

Colin then pushes the button.... no potty song, no asking for a drink nothing! I think what up.... how can my luck be that bad....batteries die now!!!!!!!!!

He is crying and Melea is jumping up and down trying to get in the exercise saucer with Jordan and Eliza is just sitting on the floor moping and looking completely sad and dejected!

I grab Elmo...whack him a few times on the counter fo good measure & check his off switch!

No luck.... so I start the tedious process of hunting a screw driver....then batteries all while trying to watch for the bus (actually put Adrian in front of window and make it her job to tell me if she sees it since it is way to cold to wait outside!!!).

I start to attempt to change the batteries..... this is nowhere as easy as it sounds 2 little Phillip's screws to come out the size that seems to way to small for a normal #2 Philip's driver and way to large for the one that works on my computer (I SWEAR THE DO THIS ON PURPOSE!)

So I finally get them out..... then change them. Screw him back up...and hand him to Colin and then proceed to attempt to get snacks (still no bus by the way and it is 8:05 am)

Colin starts stamping his foot and he hits me with Elmo! He is trying to point out Elmo is still not working!!!! I wrestle the velcro open (it is strong enough to suspend a ford truck) and and check to see if the switch is off, can't find it, reopen the battery compartment....still no bus.... check batteries, no change.... ask about the bus.... take out batteries.....re insert the batteries... not backwards....no bus yet..... I start looking for a loose wire....NO Eric either.... getting a little more irritated again at him.... I screw down the battery compartment again...... see a funny whole... it looks like a data port. The light dawns on me slowly!

.... OH NO it is Elmo Know's MY NAME!!!! The Elmo that talks in sentences and ask questions and uses Colin's name and the other kids names and words/stuff Colin likes.

Now why is this a problem... sound like a great toy....ACCEPT ours has never worked correctly.... I talks when it feels like it not when you push the button or motion activate or anything when ever / where ever it feels that it should say something!

I panic... not potty ELMO..... it is Colin's possessed Elmo..... THE ONE I HATE....it scares me.... the one I swore I would never put batteries in again.......... he has batteries!!!! A Red devil chuckey look alike... I envision the massacre awaiting me when I return from putting the children on the bus....

All of a sudden Adrian is screaming "BUS...BUS.... BUS..." It is the elementary bus not the preschool one..... so I run once to infant play room, while Colin & Melea go to bus with Adrian carrying the book bags. ... check for the real potty Elmo, grab him and run to stick him into one of the back packs. Wave good bye and run back to the house with Adrian cause it is freezing.

Adrian then throws "Possessed Elmo"' into the pile......the next bus is here in a flash and short bus derby is over for the first day back....

In that short time between buses, I got dad forgotten lunch, found toilet paper to wipe a noncomplient little one's nose; get dad out of the drive way with the recycling, found out about the nurse's Christmas holiday, as well as pondering why the 8:00 bus has now has decided to get here consistently after the 8:15 bus....

and as I am walking into the mud room... I lean over to grab Jordan....I hear that annoying Elmo voice from the other room (where no one is) say "Colin would you like a cheese sandwich?"...... "Colin will you be my friend?"..... and put Jordan down to a protest, find a screw driver and decide it is time for possessed Elmo to .......